Rest week is all week so all I will write this week
News 6/2-2025
This week has been too much for me so no news this week but feel free to send questions and I will do my best to answer them in a post.
People with ADHD lives up to 11 years less
Today I don’t have much energy to post since I had a scout meetings all week which really took my energy plus I was delayed to go home because my mom needed my help with some computer issues so I just wanted to share a news from a Danish news site saying that people with ADHD lives up to 11 years less than normal people which I found too crazy not to post here so here is the link. I know it is in Danish but I guess people can use google translate or similar services to read it. Now I will rest so I can manage the last days of the week
36 years ago
36 years ago, God decided to create you
He created you based on His image
He even made you more special than other human i think …
He poured more love, more patience, more positivity and many more good things
When you pray, God always hear you
You are one of a kind …
36 years ago, when i was 1 year and 3 months and 18 days, God gave me special gift.
I thank God for you.
A bestie that later came to my life.
Bring many helps for my life
Bring smiles when i face storm in my life
Never give up although i am difficult sometimes
Always do his best and fight for this friendship
I can’t hug you but my prayers can hug you
I told God my best wishes for you
More happy years to come
May your dreams come true
Good health and long life.
Don’t stop to share your kindness to this cold world
Don’t stop to be better
Thank you for being you
Happy birthday my bestie Jesper
To change diagnose name or not
Today I was reading up on Asperger’s to make a post here and I fell over a website which clearly told me the difference between ‘old’ Asperger’s and the new level 1 that has replaced it in 2013. Why Asperger’s Syndrome Is No Longer an Official Diagnosis is the link for those who want to read it and I just looked at the levels and reasons which made me wonder if I should change the look at myself and call myself a level 1 (DSM-5) instead of Asperger’s. I understand the reasons behind the changes but I am not ‘afraid’ to be called something a nazi doctor was name since no matter what he was the one who discovered it and second of all I am not always feeling that the new levels covers me so guess I will continue to call it that even some people might prefer the new one which I am not even sure what is other that ‘autism’. So unless I am told otherwise I won’t call myself Autism level 1 since I am not sure if that is my real number.
10 things you might not know about Asperger’s
1. Will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong
I hate to do things I know is wrong already so only if I am force or I do not know better then I will walk with the crowd
2. Don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations
I do not care what the social expectations says that you have to do, I do not care
3. don’t have hidden agendas
I say things blunt and yes it sometimes give me problems but I rather have it all in the open than keep it a secret
4. don’t usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization
I can talk to anyone as long you want to talk to me and I do not care about who and what you are
5. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others
please be how you are around me and do not fake it
6. have no interest in harming others
I do not like to hurt people which is also why I do not like fights no matter what, I know it sometimes means I go silent but it is just because I do not want to continue the bad way
7. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves
Sure I can have fun with you but I do not mind being on my own as well
8. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria
If you are kind to me, I do not care about anything, sometimes I just need a little ‘push’ to get started but that has nothing to do with you
9. you definitely know a few autistic people. Maybe you don’t know it, but you do. Maybe they don’t know it either. We’re 1% of the general population, which is higher than it sounds.
I might have Asperger’s but we are different just like you are to someone else
10. Asperger’s is not a thing anymore
I know Asperger’s is not a thing but it was when I was diagnosed and I am not sure where to place me in the new system.
‘Just do this’ is not always simple
Today I will make a short post since my head is mixing between headache and being tired and I want to talk about the things we say to each other more precisely the words ‘Just do this’ since it is always simple to tell people to do something but if the person of the reviving end have problems then it is not so easy. I learned that today I would say. I guess it is best explained with an example.
If you tell a person to walk down the street then a good and fresh person would just do it no big deal I guess but if you tell me then I might start focusing on my legs since I am very clumsy, focus on people talking on the street since I need to be sure they don’t mention my name for some odd reason or maybe the weather is too warm for me so I focus tried to get cold again.
As you can see both people will manage to do what you asked of them but even it is a simple task I might use more energy on it than a NT person, not because it is longer but because so much is happening around me that NT would not notice so yeah you can tell me to do it something and slowly I will start doing it while getting better and better to ignore the things you don’t get focused on in the first place. So I am sorry I am slow to learn things sometimes but know that I always want to make you happy and do what you request unless really bad things.
News 2/1-2025
Today I just want to say Happy New Years to new and old followers, thanks for joining me on my quest to finish this book. I hope you all came thought it in good health. I cannot wait to post more often here and I have made a goal for 2025 that together with my beyondloveexistence.com I will make 2 posts a week, I might not be there yet but I will work my towards my goal.
Jesper
News 19/12-2024
Hello,
Today I just want to say Merry Christmas and Happy new years to new and old followers, thanks for joining me on my quest to finish this book.
Jesper
Mother And An Asperger
This post inspired by movie ” I Used To Be Famous ” on Netflix. One of my favorite movies about autism. The review is still in my draft. Maybe i will post that soon. Yes … yes … i admit it is too late to post the review because the movie released maybe almost 3 years ago. But better late than never. Hehehe.
In that movie, a mother described as a very protective mother to her son that has autism. Thats what i feel about Jesper too. Sometimes impression that i got from him about his mom is a protective mother.
I have a daughter too. Teenager. I also have a super protective mother too. I am a neurotypical but i don’t know why she was very protective to me since i was born till about grade 7. So everywhere i went, she always sent her employee to go with me. Now also if her kids go somewhere that new, she will nonstop worried.
I guess i understand why the mother figure in that movie and Jesper’ mother for example, are very protective to their kids with autism. Actually their purpose is to protect their kids so people won’t hurt them. Usually related to bully.
But i can feel also that very protective treatment from mothers can brings uncomfortable feeling for the kids (the people with ASD or asperger) because it is usually still happening even until they are adult. Sometimes their mothers also try to get involved in their “things” for example about their love life. The mothers usually try to be more strict or controlling or wanna know about their kids’ relationships. Usually that will trigger friction between moms and kids.
I guess there are some ways that can be solutions to have a better condition :
- Try to be open and honest to your mom about your feeling and what do you want. For example you want to be trusted or you want your mom to stop worrying about you or you wanna have relationship with someone but free from her control. You tell her and also listen about what she feels. Discussion with opened mind and patience.
- Try to gain trust from your mother. So after you talk to her about what do you want and for example you get chance to do things your way without her being involved, make sure you keep the agreement you make with her and being responsible. With that way you can gain her trust. After you gain her trust, dont ever dare to break it. Moms are so hard to trust again when trust is broken. Especially to their beloved kids. Prove that you can be trusted.
- Don’t stop communication. So keep your mom informed and updated about yourself and about trust she gives to you. So she doesnt wonder about things and she can be relax. Not easily to get worried and dont try to get involved again.
If those things above go well, i think the friction because of super protective behaviors from the mothers can be prevented. Your moms love you. It is just they need to prepare you for the real world. Not just keeping you in her protection all the time.
And for mothers, we need to listen about our kids especially the ones with autism. They can be strong and independent if we let them to be. We cant always beside them to protect them forever. Expose them to the world so they will have strength and chance to be participate in this world with all kind of people. So they can be independent.
Good luck.
You but different 