Tag: Why

Jesper's Posts

Being blunt

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna write about being blunt as often if you have Asperger’s you are often more blunt than an NT person because you do not have filters that explain you what is good or bad during an event or something. An example from my life was when my grandma had died and was in the hospital room for the dead, my aunt (child of my grandma) asked if we should sing a song and without think I replied “Are we here to rest the death or here to awake the death?” because in my family we are not very good at singing. My aunt knows me so nothing bad happen but it could have been bad if I did it to another death person’s family.

Why?

The first question I wanna ask is why I do it and to be honest it is because I do not think much about what I say sometimes and yes you are correct “You should just think before you speak” I can do that but if sometimes if I am listening to people talk I am not sure when it is my turn to talk so sometimes I am too slow or telling the person what I though of the things we talked about if more than one person. Being blunt also means I am very honest about things.

How?

The second question is how I do it and I do it because I feel there is no reason to sugarcoat it like NT’s do so the speech “If you want to know the truth ask a drunk or a baby” also means me even I am 34 years old and not drunk very often (last time was 14 years ago, but last alcohol was in July having an Aperol Spritz in Nice)

What?

The last question I want to ask is what can you do and guess if you want to help me then maybe we should all speak more clear about things and if you talk to me and other people on the same time, make room for me to speak.

Conclusion

Being blunt in my mind is better than the sugarcoating NT does because it leaves to so many miss understandings

0
Jesper's Posts

Bad situation feeling and being left out

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before I start today post I will like to say sorry that I have not been posting for almost a month but the days just took each other but will try to make people happy once more and I hope to return to posting again. Anyway today I will covering 2 things, “Bad situation feeling” and “being left out”, an Asperger’s often feel or rather do so in my mind.

Bad situation feeling

Bad situation feelings is maybe not a term that seems normal for an NT but to me, Asperger’s, it means a lot because it means that I am bad at knowing what to do in a situation.

Example 1

If I am walking down the street and I see a man who is almost dropping a package he is walking with, I would maybe not react even it would seem normal to do so. I would rather mind my own business and walk past him like nothing happen. I ‘know’ this is wrong but still if you do not tell me you need my help I would not think about it. But if you want my help, then just tell me and I will do almost everything you ask me to as long it is legal and so on.

Example 2

A woman is standing up in a train but she is clearly pregnant. We do not have to go over that I ‘know’ it is wrong but unless I am told by the woman to give up my seat I would not do it.

WHY?

Well I do not always see the full picture when doing things and if people do not open their mouth I do not see the problem so I will just think you have decided to do it your way. I am getting better at it and please understand I do not mind helping people at all. And for the record about the pregnant woman, I have been told not to ask if a woman is pregnant so I am never going to do that so OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you want me to do something.

Being left out

This one I am not experiencing often anymore as people that know me are kind to me and we are having good time so I only have a maybe half example because I understand what is going on even it hurts a bit.

Example 1

I am seating in a full train on the way to work. The train is so full that people are sometimes standing in the walk path making it impossible to get in or out of the train. I feel left out or hurt if people do not seat next to me. It makes me feel like I am some bad person that no one wants to seat next to.

WHY?

I do not know why people do that but I know you do it to other people as well so not only me which is why I said it was a half example. Maybe someone can explain it to me in the comments. I am mostly fine by it these days but still a bit weird to be the only one without a seating partner.

0