Tag: LIfe

Jesper's Posts

A step to becoming independent Part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

Step 2 in becoming in independent, find what your weaknesses and strengths. But remember that we are all different so my strengths can be your weaknesses and vice versa. (maybe this should have been step 1)

Weaknesses

Let us start with the weakness since there is actually strength in knowing your weaknesses. Like if I know I am scared of heights then I can prevent myself from getting up in high trees or similar. I know from myself that my weaknesses is:

Crowds: I don’t like to be in crowds and I would rather be in small groups of people since I get a feeling of being lost. It is also makes me overwhelmed.

Height: I don’t like high places if I am not feeling safe so I don’t mind climbing and what else but I need to feel safe to do it

Age reading: I have no clue of how old a person is unless they tell me, sure I have a clue if they are young, old and so on but I could talk to a 15 year old without knowing they are not 35 years

Body language reading: I am not good at this either so sometimes I say the wrong words because I didn’t read the body language correctly.

Naive: I am very naive and sees the best in people almost no matter what.

Strengths

Strengths is of cause things you are good at.

Details: I see a lot of details in things, just sometimes I am so focused on details that I forget the world around the detail.

Love learning: I love learning new things just sometimes a bit lazy to do it like I didn’t cook for a long time but now I am doing it again.

Grounded: I feel that being grounded is a good thing to have since it allows you to be there for all kinds of people (If I get to talk to them, hahaha)

Loyal: I feel I am very loyal to people and always try to get the best out with all kinds of people, no matter what.

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s behaviors

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna talk about some of the important behavoirs of Asperger’s that normal people might miss understand.

The missing eye contact

The first one I wanna talk about is the missing eye contact. I hate to look in peoples eyes because it feels very ucomfy for me which sometimes make people believe that I am not listening to them or ignorring them. Some people says we do it to hear and focus better but have not though of that I just personaly do not like it.

The direct speech

The second one is that we speak very directly and sometimes people gets hurt by it since I often do not see the point of trying to say it in a gentle way as I do not like to be unclear. I never plan to hurt people with my words as I have experinces enough pain in terms of bullies to continue doing that.

The honesty

The second and half one is the honesty. I feel this is connected to the second one because since we often say things direct then the words are often honest as well.

The repeating behavoir

The 3rd one, we are often repeating certain movements which can be everything from making wierd noises to do something with our fingers or feet. I used to repeat every sentenses twice to make sure that the person understood what I was trying to say and sometimes I am thinking that my skin and former nail biting is maybe part of it since I am having a real hard time to stop.

The ‘missing’ empati

The 4th one, we are often blame for not having any empati about what is going one but I often feel so hurt I do not know what to do with the feeling since we do not want to make it worse for the person experince it. I even had a period of my life were if I watched a guy get shot or hurt in a movie I could feel the pain in the same area. Plus we are not good with words so we often sounds a bit like robots as we will repeat what we have learned worked earlier since if we sometimes speak our mind people get more hurt. Other times we can start telling stories about similar situations that happened to the person to ourselves and people get angry since they feel that we ‘steal’ the show while really we just try to show we relate to the pain.

The alone time

The 5th one, we are often believed to be introverted but as I did some reason for the post I found out that many of the things that makes me feel introvered is not introverted it is just because I have so many problems with social interactions that I lose the energy for it so quickly that sometimes I just have do not have enough for an entire day. So sometimes I perfer alone time to recharge my energy or things would be too much for me.

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Jesper's Posts

5 things I wish I knew earlier

Posted on by JTCHlife

I am not sure if I have made this before but my mind is too tired to get other ideas at the moment so feel like I wanna do this. So without much more I wish:

.1. That the world is evil if you let it be

I feel the world is a very evil place if you don’t do things to prevent it from happening. I know I can only do so much on my own but a smile from stranger or not reacting to the comments can really make a difference

.2. Mindfulness can be used in different ways

I started to do mindfulness with the quest to clear my mind for every thought inside it just to learn you can do it your way. So my way is the opposite, I allow all my thoughts to come since I feel that most of the time during the day we are so focused on something that it does not allows us to think clearly so that is why I also my mind to have spaces where I am allowing that.

.3. Never stop learning

Life is long and even you feel you have learned enough in school keep yourself growing in wisdom. I have never been good at coding but these days I am practicing myself on W3schools and tryhackme to know even more.

.4. Homecooking is better than resturants

Sure I have gotten good food on resturants and sure I have gotten a good homemade meal at my parents but there is something different about the taste and joy when you make it all by yourself

.5. Being different is a strength not a weakness

Well this a bit of strech since I never watched being different as a bad thing but it was first when I reached my special school for asperger’s that I found the strength.

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Jesper's Posts

Step by step

Posted on by JTCHlife

Hello

I am finally getting ready to continue on my life and this website after some months with hard times as my head was like a blackhole. I have decide to restart my goals for the next month will be devide on 8 types. each with a simple goal:

Creative: Make 1 wordpress post every week

Drinks: Drink 2l of fuild and max 2 sodas a day

Ecomomy: Write down special things I buy

Fitness: 3 boulders sesions of boulders for at least 10mins climb, 5mins warmup and 5mins colddown

Food: Eat at least 1 fruit a day

Focus: Offline calender & 1 session of 5mins of mindfulness for 5mins

Nails and skin: Do not bite skin or nails from pinky

Sleep: Wake up at 6.25am and go to bed at 10.55pm

Starting now.

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Jesper's Posts

Dear world

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I am finally feeling free from the black hole that has been pulling me out of my routine for the past 2 months so I think I am ready for the world once more. Sorry to those I have hurt during it as I never meant to be bad. I have no clue what happened or anything. At the moment I am still taking things slow so for now I am focused on better sleep by going to bed at 10pm and wake up at 6am while do some boulders 3 times a week plus some random walks but no more yoga or weightlifting for now. I will also return to my offline goal and mindfulness. Later I will return my focus on good homemade food and drink almost none soda. I might get bad days again but I have complete this time so I am certain I will beat it once again

Thanks for reading and have a good day

Jesper

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Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 3

Posted on by JTCHlife

Last time I wrote about adiction, focus mode and that I used to control my phone use. Today is the last part and I will write about the objects I use instead of focusing on my phone.

Calendar

The first object I brought myself to try going offline was a calendar and it seems like a easy task for some people but for me then it was hard since I never had one before that was not online. I have tried a few apps as calendars on my phone like Tiimo (ADHD calendar app) and Fantastical to name a few but there was always something wrong so I ended up using the default app as I felt home there. My search made me recall an old app I had on my phone which is an app where you write everything down on some special paper in a book and then you can scan it to your phone. The app still excisted but had stopped selling the books for the writing so I went hunting again and found Bambook. Bambook had an awesome calendar so I had to have it and that too had the ability to scan my notes to my phone. For now I have not scanned much but I feel it is great to have the option plus the writting comes off with water meaning I can reuse it many times. I am still having a bit process of filling it out with the future plans so I can use it completely but just the feeling of writing something in writting instead of keyboard felt magical and I wanna do things again

Life planner

The second object I got was a life planner which I bought together with the calendar since I felt I would need somewhere to plan my less digital life and other parts of my life. I have made 4 goals that I am trying to aim for this year and I will use the life planner to get there.

Whiteboard

I am not sure if I missed it at first ort what happened but aftera few months of trying calendar and life planner I felt I wanted to get a better overview of my things so I went to bambook again and I have now a monthly view on m y freezer together with weekly mealplaner, to-dos and a small whiteboard. So now I am ready to complete my life one month a time while have in all in one place plus they have sticky notes as well so every major plan like my boulders or scouts can now just move without I have to rewrite every detail.

Final conclusion

I will still use them online versions as backup while slowly moving more and more to the offline versions, so my phone, apple watch and other devices will be important tools and to abe able to contact the world but never be my entire life again.

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Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

Last time I wrote about screen time, one sec and forest that I used to control my phone use. Today I will write a bit about addiction since I have learned a bit about on myself.

Addiction

Many apps these days send us millions of notifications to make us check them often and it is one of the things that keeps us at the phone, plus many of those notifications is streaks, meaning they try to make you access the app at least one time a day. I am working on myself to avoid those notications so my phone only will be used on the good stuff. There are in my opion 3 ways to avoid notifactions from annoying apps.

Manuel

You can go inside settings for each app and remove notifications from the apps and that way avoid it more. But at least on iOS you have something else.

Focus mode

On iOS you can use something call focus modes which is a way to block certain notifications from appearing at certain times. I find it really helpful since once it is setup then things works very automatical and once the focus session is up your notifications will appear on your screen.

At the moment I am having normal, sleep, work, fitness, mindfulness, people, scouts and do not disturb. Each mode covers a certain aspect on my life since you can make as many you want and it is easy to switch between them. I highly recomend setting it up since it is an easy way to avoid certain notifications at certain periods of your life and there a lots of cool settings like block all people, some or none… decide if it is certain apps you wanna block or only those apps you wanna hear and other cool stuff.

Deletion

Another thing you can do to avoid notifications is to delete apps as most apps is also able as websites meaning you can avoid the notifications for good and only access the website when you need it. I have done so with my reddit app so these days if I wanna go a reddit I have to open it on the website where one sec I talked about also works,

To make sure I use my phone for the good things I will look at my apps and focus modes at least once a month since there is no need to have lots of unecessary apps on your devices since it is better to have room for your pictures and such. This marks the end of part 2, let us see what my mind have in store for part 3.

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Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 1

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I start my series of moving to ‘offline’ that I have been trying to create since the start of January. Let us dig in my past first, I am a very digital minded person since I have never been good socially in person unless in my safe areas like home or work. Secondly, I have also been very bad at writting since I often have spelling mistakes or forget words completely when writting something plus I was very slow. This combi made me use a computer a lot and I recently started to feel ‘dead’ inside the computer world so I decide to try move offline. Don’t worry I will still be here and other places but might cut it down a bit which leads me to my first attempt book calendar and lifeplanner. I got them late last year and I could feel that writing down in them help me wanna do things again and not feel ‘dead’ like before. I will talk more about those in my later parts because today I will start by screentime.

Screen time

Screen time is how much time you use on your device daily and if you have an iPhone, the settings is also called ‘screen time’ and that is where I begun. The screen time allows you to see what and how much you use the phone, guess most people use it to control their kids but I will use it for myself and since I do not have any kids I will ship that part.

Step 1: Control

Before I felt ‘dead’ by online then I have on a longer period felt that I have used way too much time on Reddit so when I found an app named one sec which works by ‘blocking’ the apps and websites you do not want to use a lot I was happy. It ‘blocks’ your apps and website by pausing your action for amount of time to be sure you wanna go there. It helps me a lot but I have been a bit lazy lately so I just ‘unblock’ it. But together with screen control it can become even better since then you can tell yourself that you only want an amount of time inside that app or website. So that is my control.

Step 2: Cut down

Starting today (4. Febuary), I will cut down my reddit use to 30mins a day, and at the moment I will allow myself to use all my apps and such on my phone for 6 hours a day on screen meaning if I do not use 6 hours figuring out what song I wanna hear I can hear unlimited music. if I have freinds online and they wanna chat I will go past that time but other unecessary apps I will avoid. To help me focus on things around me and things I will do I will also use forest app which helps me by planting a tree and block my access to unecessary apps for a period of time while killing the tree if you fail.

Step 3: Goal

My goal for all of this is to return to the ‘offline’ world and be more alive again. So I wanna go down 3 hours of phone use, plant lots of ‘trees’ and be more alive in real life

That was end of part 1, the apps mentioned is some created by other people that I have found and paid for by myself.

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Jesper's Posts

Principles

Posted on by JTCHlife

What principles define how you live?

Well I recently learned about myself that I have become too focused on the future and the past meaning that starting today I plan to live in the present time instead. It means I don’t have goals, surely I have things I wanna do better but I feel like my life is good as it is so why ruin it by focusing on goals for the future or regrets about the past.

This quote was my daily quote from a motivation app I use daily.

As for focusing on getting better I wanna develop this habits:

  1. Get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and go to bed at 10:30 p.m. so I get a good night’s sleep and have a good day
  2. Stop damaging my nails and skin so my body
  3. Eat healthy, homemade food (four times a week), get enough fruit and vegetables (at least three portions) so that I am not held back by a lack of good food, and drink lemon juice three times a day.
  4. Hydrate with 2.5 liters of fluid a day consisting of water, kombucha, and only enjoy soda so that I am not held back by too much sugar or lack of fluids
  5. Focus on life and deal with changes through 4x meditation (day), mindfulness, and 1x reflection (day), as well as journaling and 3 goals for the day so I have a wonderful day
  6. Exercise 3x bouldering (week), 3x yoga (week), and 85km walks (month) so my body can be at its best
  7. Keep track of my finances with a budget so there is room for both savings and experiences so that life can be easy as pie
  8. Be more creative in my short stories and drawings and help the world understand Asperger’s so that life isn’t just movies, Reddit, and work.

Once I reach a good level of those I would let them grow with me so they are not goals but more as a way of getting better by the day.

That was my view.

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Shared Posts

Lessons From Past Life

Posted on by JTCHlife

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Jesper’s lesson

I wish I knew that things was not a race but that things comes when they come. To explain I feel like that I used to have in a big rush to experience things in life before because I didn’t understand I had plenty of time to do what I wanted or needed. These days I just take one step at the time while making sure that all my unique pieces are able to follow me to the new place in life.

Ria’s lessons

  1. Love or feelings cant be forced. No matter how big your love for someone is but no guarantee they can love you back.
  2. Dont trust anyone. Trust need to be earned. And fact that nowadays many people like to lie for their own benefit
  3. We dont need people’ validation. Stop thinking about people’ opinion about us. People dont pay our bill and they are not God. So stop thinking too much about them. As long as you dont hurt other people, you are free.
  4. Dont be people pleaser. It will hurt you. Just be nice and spread love but know boundaries. Dont let yourself to be used by others.
  5. Have boundaries doesnt mean bad. Boundaries protect you. It helps people to respect you too. Boundaries will help you to help people but keep you safe too. Not sacrifice you and everything you have for certain people only.
  6. Dont rush things. Everything takes time. Love, relationship, business and etc. Instant things will bring instant and temporary results. Many people failed because they trusted on instant things.
  7. The most important treasure in life is health. With good health we almost can do everything. We can work, enjoy good meal, enjoy our sleep, oxygen and etc.
  8. Have spiritual life will help life to be balanced. Believe in God, or any religion or spiritual practice will help life to have goals and be peaceful
  9. People that hurt you most of the time are people that got hurt too. So stop the hatred, forgive and move on
  10. The world doesnt revolve around you. Learn how to share this world with other people and be humble.
  11. Nothing permanent in this life. So dont take anything for granted. Cherish every moment. Feel grateful. Love more.
  12. Do good and good things will come back to you. What you sow is what you will reap. Karma does exist. Sometimes it is slow. Sometimes instantly.
  13. Listen carefully and be humble to learn from other people. Because our opinions arent always right. Learning is life time process.
  14. Mean words will make things worse. So be careful with our words. Communicate better
  15. Try to see good things even in a disaster.
  16. Have empathy and world gonna be more peaceful
  17. We are rich if we share our things with other people.
  18. Read more and travel more
  19. Be careful with money as money can change people to wrong directions.
  20. See people’ action. Dont trust their words without real action
  21. Be careful with people you allow to be in your life. Once you let the bad people in, they can ruin your life.
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