Tag: LIfe

Jesper's Posts

Principles

Posted on by JTCHlife

What principles define how you live?

Well I recently learned about myself that I have become too focused on the future and the past meaning that starting today I plan to live in the present time instead. It means I don’t have goals, surely I have things I wanna do better but I feel like my life is good as it is so why ruin it by focusing on goals for the future or regrets about the past.

This quote was my daily quote from a motivation app I use daily.

As for focusing on getting better I wanna develop this habits:

  1. Get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and go to bed at 10:30 p.m. so I get a good night’s sleep and have a good day
  2. Stop damaging my nails and skin so my body
  3. Eat healthy, homemade food (four times a week), get enough fruit and vegetables (at least three portions) so that I am not held back by a lack of good food, and drink lemon juice three times a day.
  4. Hydrate with 2.5 liters of fluid a day consisting of water, kombucha, and only enjoy soda so that I am not held back by too much sugar or lack of fluids
  5. Focus on life and deal with changes through 4x meditation (day), mindfulness, and 1x reflection (day), as well as journaling and 3 goals for the day so I have a wonderful day
  6. Exercise 3x bouldering (week), 3x yoga (week), and 85km walks (month) so my body can be at its best
  7. Keep track of my finances with a budget so there is room for both savings and experiences so that life can be easy as pie
  8. Be more creative in my short stories and drawings and help the world understand Asperger’s so that life isn’t just movies, Reddit, and work.

Once I reach a good level of those I would let them grow with me so they are not goals but more as a way of getting better by the day.

That was my view.

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Shared Posts

Lessons From Past Life

Posted on by JTCHlife

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Jesper’s lesson

I wish I knew that things was not a race but that things comes when they come. To explain I feel like that I used to have in a big rush to experience things in life before because I didn’t understand I had plenty of time to do what I wanted or needed. These days I just take one step at the time while making sure that all my unique pieces are able to follow me to the new place in life.

Ria’s lessons

  1. Love or feelings cant be forced. No matter how big your love for someone is but no guarantee they can love you back.
  2. Dont trust anyone. Trust need to be earned. And fact that nowadays many people like to lie for their own benefit
  3. We dont need people’ validation. Stop thinking about people’ opinion about us. People dont pay our bill and they are not God. So stop thinking too much about them. As long as you dont hurt other people, you are free.
  4. Dont be people pleaser. It will hurt you. Just be nice and spread love but know boundaries. Dont let yourself to be used by others.
  5. Have boundaries doesnt mean bad. Boundaries protect you. It helps people to respect you too. Boundaries will help you to help people but keep you safe too. Not sacrifice you and everything you have for certain people only.
  6. Dont rush things. Everything takes time. Love, relationship, business and etc. Instant things will bring instant and temporary results. Many people failed because they trusted on instant things.
  7. The most important treasure in life is health. With good health we almost can do everything. We can work, enjoy good meal, enjoy our sleep, oxygen and etc.
  8. Have spiritual life will help life to be balanced. Believe in God, or any religion or spiritual practice will help life to have goals and be peaceful
  9. People that hurt you most of the time are people that got hurt too. So stop the hatred, forgive and move on
  10. The world doesnt revolve around you. Learn how to share this world with other people and be humble.
  11. Nothing permanent in this life. So dont take anything for granted. Cherish every moment. Feel grateful. Love more.
  12. Do good and good things will come back to you. What you sow is what you will reap. Karma does exist. Sometimes it is slow. Sometimes instantly.
  13. Listen carefully and be humble to learn from other people. Because our opinions arent always right. Learning is life time process.
  14. Mean words will make things worse. So be careful with our words. Communicate better
  15. Try to see good things even in a disaster.
  16. Have empathy and world gonna be more peaceful
  17. We are rich if we share our things with other people.
  18. Read more and travel more
  19. Be careful with money as money can change people to wrong directions.
  20. See people’ action. Dont trust their words without real action
  21. Be careful with people you allow to be in your life. Once you let the bad people in, they can ruin your life.
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Jesper's Posts

10 things you might not know about Asperger’s

Posted on by JTCHlife

1. Will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong
I hate to do things I know is wrong already so only if I am force or I do not know better then I will walk with the crowd

2. Don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations
I do not care what the social expectations says that you have to do, I do not care

3. don’t have hidden agendas
I say things blunt and yes it sometimes give me problems but I rather have it all in the open than keep it a secret

4. don’t usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization
I can talk to anyone as long you want to talk to me and I do not care about who and what you are

5. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others
please be how you are around me and do not fake it

6. have no interest in harming others
I do not like to hurt people which is also why I do not like fights no matter what, I know it sometimes means I go silent but it is just because I do not want to continue the bad way

7. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves
Sure I can have fun with you but I do not mind being on my own as well

8. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria
If you are kind to me, I do not care about anything, sometimes I just need a little ‘push’ to get started but that has nothing to do with you

9. you definitely know a few autistic people. Maybe you don’t know it, but you do. Maybe they don’t know it either. We’re 1% of the general population, which is higher than it sounds.
I might have Asperger’s but we are different just like you are to someone else

10. Asperger’s is not a thing anymore
I know Asperger’s is not a thing but it was when I was diagnosed and I am not sure where to place me in the new system.

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Jesper's Posts

B = Bullies

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we starts then I wanted to say sorry for missing yesterday but I was sick so lost mood and focus but I am back again and will return to publish every wednesday. I just felt the posts was too important to miss.

So back to the alphabet, this week’s letter is B and even that we are not far in the alphabet I feel that is one is one of the important ones for me at least. For the letter B, I have picked bullies which to me is two fold because to me it has two sides. A “Me” side and a “Others” side. I do not know how else to divide it so I can explain it but I cannot write or explain more without ruining the post so let us start with the “Others” side.

Others

The “Others” is the people who have been bullying me during my childhood and leaved me with bad scars in my soul, the only “good” thing about it all is that I did not knew what had happened to me before years after. Yes I was bullied and yes I was bullied a lot, I was also hurt a lot which was often just blame on me becuase I was at “the wrong place, at the wrong time” for anyone to notice that I was not a victim. I have made mostly peace with this part of my life but I wonder what made my class mates do that in the first place like one was a scout, another an army freak meant in a good way and so many others but everyone was evil to me. Good thing a guy tried to break my neck so I could escape for good even I did not understand why at the time.

Me

The reason I made a “Me” side is because I never and will not say I was a good child because I feel I have been a bully as well since if everyone you know have been doing bad things like bullying then how can you know things are not suposed to be like that. I did not know any better and I am not saying it is 100% an Asperger’s thing but we are different from you already and the way we learn things are different as well so not to use it as a bad excuse, but “Sorry that I did not know better” if I could have know it was bad I would have never started doing it back and I would never had held it back from my parents.

Conclusion

In my childhood before escaping the hell of bullies I would say that I was both the victim and the torture as I did know betters. Now-a-days I can bully for fun and see the difference but I guess sometimes the reason I get sick from work or what else I am doing is because I had “enough” of the world, not that I do not love my work or anything else for the matter but I guess it “Beep” up my head, making me sick. Recently started thinking of my go to phsycristist again to get it help to sort the things out and maybe get better that way. I will also use this to say sorry to anyone who felt I was a bully at any time during my life.

“Sorry”

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s in movies & series Part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

I did this a few months ago about movies with Asperger’s and now I have seen or head some new movies and series about people with Asperger’s so wanted to make a sequel.

I used to be famous

The movie is about a man (Vince) who used to be part of a boy band in his younger years and since then he has lost everything so he trying to get a new chance in music. One day he meets Stevie who is autistic and they cannot talk to each other at first and Stevie mom is very protective. Vince sees Stevie as his chance to enter the music again but on the same time he still trying to get over the death of his brother. Go watch it as it is on Netflix if you want to see a Vince maybe get his redemption and music contract. I like it because it shows that mother’s can be too protective of their kids.

Mary and Max

I have not seen this movie so cannot say what it is about but was told about it and read a bit about and after I read that it is about a 44 year old and a 8 year old who writes letters to each other. I feel so connect to the movie as I am using a app called slowly which is a letter app where you send mails to each other but you do not know the person in the other, other than they share plus the father the person is away from you the longer it take to reach the person and hopefully a letter back. The other reason I am felling connect is because I feel I have a better connection with kids and older people than those at my age.

Somebody

The series Somebody is a Korean series about a woman (Kim Sum) who has created a dating app when suddenly a man uses it to start killing people. The police wants the company to track him but they, they cannot and Kim Sum starts getting feelings for the guy because he is similar to her. It is a bit rough at times but I feel it does a great job at showing that even that Asperger’s might be made from gens it is also how your environment is. I would not go as far as saying I would do some of the things in the series but I have been bullied and teased a lot doing my child hood and because no one

Conclusion

Guess I just wanted to show that again there is plenty of movies and series with features people with all kinds disabilities and everything else so there is plenty to watch if you want to learn about people like me or others who might need a bit more help than you expected.

P.s the covers are all from IMDB

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Jesper's Posts

Sorry no post (Maybe go watch Somebody)

Posted on by JTCHlife

Just wanted to give a post this week and not like last week where nothing happened at all. I hope to return next week as life just happened and my head has been a bit full. Guess I want you to watch Somebody (Korean Drama) on Netflix with Asperger’s as well if I have to say anything this week. I have yet to watch it myself but guess I will soon.

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Jesper's Posts

10 myths about Asperger’s

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to share some myths about Asperger’s and answer what I think of them compared to me. Since all people with Asperger’s are different I will tell if I am different from others with Asperger’s according to the myth

1. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not have emotions or feelings.

Answer: I have plenty of emotions and feelings, sometimes I might even get it stronger than NT people.

2. People with Asperger’s syndrome have no interest in social interaction.

Answer: I like spending time with people but often need a break afterwards while I can get sick if way too many people in one time like in a mall on Black Friday.

3. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not have a sense of humor.

Answer: I have no humor… Of course I do but sometimes I do not get the jokes as quickly or laugh at other things.

4. People with Asperger’s syndrome are not interested in sex.

Answer: I am interested in sex, nothing more to say to that.

5. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not speak.

Answer: I, sometimes wish I did not speak because my mind sees a connection fast and sometimes it is not nice connection. Fx my uncle and cousin was one time talking about if there were cell phones back when my uncle was a child and without thinking I yelled “Nope they was first invited by the time he reached menopause age. But there are people with Asperger’s who does not speak.

6. People with Asperger’s syndrome are all geniuses.

Answer: I am not clever but not stupid either.

7. People with Asperger’s syndrome are mentally retarded.

Answer: I am not clever but not stupid either.

8. People with Asperger’s syndrome cannot have normal relationships or live independently.

Answer: I have been having 2 girlfriends and I am living pretty independently in an apartment. Of course my parents helps me a bit like you do with normal kids but doing fine on my own and have planned trips to Japan on my own before.

9. People with Asperger’s syndrome will never be able to hold “real” jobs.

Answer: I have work part time (25 hours) at IT company which takes 45mins by train to get there so maybe I am not able to work full time but I am doing my part and I love it.

10. Asperger’s syndrome disorders are extremely rare, and easy to spot when they exist.

Answer: If you know what to look for then there is plenty of us, but since it is not called Asperger’s anymore we are rare I guess lol

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s in movies & series

Posted on by JTCHlife

Have you ever felt a person was acting like you in a movie or series before? Well that kind of thing happens for people with Asperger’s as well and since I have watched a lot of movies and series it have have happened quiet a lot. I have picked 2 series and 2 movies which I have watched which all have an Asperger’s character in the, but before I start I would like to say that some Asperger’s do not like the way the people are acting in them but to me, it is not a problem as we are all different just like ‘normal’ people are different. Anyway my picks are: Adam, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo (Korean poster) and Mozart and the whale

Adam

The movie Adam is a movie about a guy named Adam who has lived with his dad all his life but he has died and now Adam has to live on his own but he has no clue about everything and to make things more interested a cute girl named Beth, moves in the apartment. This movie was the first time I watched a movie with Asperger’s and I loved how they explained things like we do not like strangers so much, we have routines and prefer to stick with them, we do not always know what to say and sometimes it comes out wrong. I love how they show him growing in the entire movie from not knowing when to stop talking about space to help a women in the end. I highly recommend it and so does my former headmaster as Asperger’s school here in Denmark as I showed it to her and she decide it would be a movie for the teachers there to watch. I also recommend watching it twice because many of the events have two meanings and I did not notice them before I watched it again.

Atypical

The series Atypical is a series about an a guy named Sam with Asperger’s who have live his whole life where his mom has taken care of all his needs while his sister sometime tease him but also cares about him. This one shows that we not always know what to do about thing and how to feel about people as he falls in love with his psychiatrist because she seems nice to him and in the end she hates him for ruin her relationship with the father of her child. They also shows that we sometimes goes on living our lives like nothing happens even when his parents breaks up because of his moms affair. Sam finds love even he is not sure what love is and his girlfriend does a lot of cute things for him even that his sister is a bit against her. It also show we sometimes have a subject we really care about and for Sam that one is penguins

Extraordinary Attorney Woo

The series Extraordinary Attorney Woo is a Korean one which compared to the other is following a young woman named Woo who is the first Attorney trainee with Asperger’s who loves to talk about whales and law. She has a few learned things from her father like wait a few seconds before entering a door after knocking and such. Even I am not a woman like in the series it hurt me a bit to see that people if they love us they sometimes get bullied for it as I exercised it myself with my first ex. I am also not as clever as she is and I do not think I have a memory like hers even it is pretty good at times.

Mozart and the whale

I do not know what to say about this movie other than it is pretty unique as many of the characters is having some kind of diagnose and that the main character wants to take care of them like I wanted in real life. I felt I needed to share the movie because it was so unique with all the characters.

Honorable mention

Rain Man is a great movie with Dustin Hoffman, I would not say his character Raymond is having Asperger’s but damm this movie has everything and it came just at the right time when the world needed to see us. He has many of the special things about us like needing a routine and how people watched us back then. I cannot count cards or anything like him but I would like to say thanks to Dustin Hoffman for playing this character

Conclusion

As you can see there are many movies with Asperger’s and other types of people and like I said at first not all Asperger’s like the portrait we have on movie but I feel each of the movies I mentioned has a bit of me inside them as I have in them. I know it is just movies but sometimes movies learns you something about life too. Go watch them if you want to understand a bit about our world.

P.s the covers are all from IMDB

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Jesper's Posts

Jesper’s Diagnose

Posted on by JTCHlife
Photo by MART PRODUCTION from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/technology-computer-head-health-7089020/

Hi everyone

I felt that the first post I wanted to do here on my new website which I have created together with awesome Ria, is going to be the story about how I got my diagnose and how it changed my life.

WHAT

Before I start my story I would like to tell that I have Asperger’s and I was diagnose pretty late at 18-19 years old and I am 33 years (Soon 34). I am not much into the new terms for Asperger’s so to me Asperger’s is the name of diagnose even some people might prefer other terms. The way Asperger’s effect me is that if stressed I can get sick with mostly puking and/or headaches. I can get stressed by as simple things as go to work, go to the mall with too many people or a simple phone call. I hate phone calls, meetings, and too many people in one place. I prefer talk to people one-one or texts which is also how I managed to do my job which is being a supporter at a local computer firm and have done so for soon 10 years. I am very happy for my work place. guess that is what you need to know about me.

HOW

Well the story starts when I was born as already when I was just born I was very clumsy and having problems with normal stuff but because Asperger’s was not a normal thing in little Denmark in 1989 then no one knew I was different so my parents was doing their best to help me in life and I have been doing many things over the years like fx almost getting tested for allergy, when I said almost the doctor only noticed that my sickness was not fitting a period of allergy on the time I was about to get tested. Thank God for that as I am scared of needles. I also got MR brain scanning where I almost fell asleep and a trainer for my being clumsy. All of this attempts happened until I was 18 years old and got to try a psychiatrist. Until I had always felt weird and I have been teased and bullied a lot doing my child hood. I was not so ‘clever’ on that so luckily did not learn what it was before 16 years old and I am not saying I am the best kid in school because how can you know a thing is bad as a child when it happens every day and no adult tells you it is bad. The teachers and my parents only discovered it because I was almost killed by a class mate who almost broke my neck. I was sad the days I was sent home to find a new school because I did not understand it was bad what had happen. From there life got better but I continued being sick with puke and headaches every time I started new school or place.

WHEN

Like I said I got to join a psychiatrist at 18 years old and we started talking. I do not remember much about what other than life, my family and such things but I do remember them asking me if I was fine with a Norwegian as psychiatrist because they felt he could help me. He could as he was the guy giving me my diagnose. I also remember him laughing when he told me that I had it because Asperger’s really enjoy dinosaurs, space and military in a certain order and I did as well even without knowing it. It was the best day of my life to finally learn why I was like this and I am happy to know.

WHY

The reason I got my diagnose was because I had always felt different and out of place and had a hard time doing anything about it. As I first got my diagnose in high school I did not get any help in primary school at all but in some ways I am happy for that as I fear I would been teased and bullied even more. My life has not been 100% happy just because I got my diagnose as for 1 I tried to become a kindergarten teacher to help kids with needs like mine so when I could hear them say “No one understand me”, I would look them in the eye and say “I know exactly what you feel and think because I have the same and life gets better” to make them feel better but to make a bit long story short then the kindergarten teacher school never understood me and force me to quit instead of trying to help me.

NOW

Now I am working hard in computer company working 25 hours a week, having a boss that helps me and cares for my problems and all of that was possible because Denmark has an awesome school named ASPit for people like me, who helped me, learn computer stuff and get a job.

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