Tag: LIfe

Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 3

Posted on by JTCHlife

Last time I wrote about adiction, focus mode and that I used to control my phone use. Today is the last part and I will write about the objects I use instead of focusing on my phone.

Calendar

The first object I brought myself to try going offline was a calendar and it seems like a easy task for some people but for me then it was hard since I never had one before that was not online. I have tried a few apps as calendars on my phone like Tiimo (ADHD calendar app) and Fantastical to name a few but there was always something wrong so I ended up using the default app as I felt home there. My search made me recall an old app I had on my phone which is an app where you write everything down on some special paper in a book and then you can scan it to your phone. The app still excisted but had stopped selling the books for the writing so I went hunting again and found Bambook. Bambook had an awesome calendar so I had to have it and that too had the ability to scan my notes to my phone. For now I have not scanned much but I feel it is great to have the option plus the writting comes off with water meaning I can reuse it many times. I am still having a bit process of filling it out with the future plans so I can use it completely but just the feeling of writing something in writting instead of keyboard felt magical and I wanna do things again

Life planner

The second object I got was a life planner which I bought together with the calendar since I felt I would need somewhere to plan my less digital life and other parts of my life. I have made 4 goals that I am trying to aim for this year and I will use the life planner to get there.

Whiteboard

I am not sure if I missed it at first ort what happened but aftera few months of trying calendar and life planner I felt I wanted to get a better overview of my things so I went to bambook again and I have now a monthly view on m y freezer together with weekly mealplaner, to-dos and a small whiteboard. So now I am ready to complete my life one month a time while have in all in one place plus they have sticky notes as well so every major plan like my boulders or scouts can now just move without I have to rewrite every detail.

Final conclusion

I will still use them online versions as backup while slowly moving more and more to the offline versions, so my phone, apple watch and other devices will be important tools and to abe able to contact the world but never be my entire life again.

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Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

Last time I wrote about screen time, one sec and forest that I used to control my phone use. Today I will write a bit about addiction since I have learned a bit about on myself.

Addiction

Many apps these days send us millions of notifications to make us check them often and it is one of the things that keeps us at the phone, plus many of those notifications is streaks, meaning they try to make you access the app at least one time a day. I am working on myself to avoid those notications so my phone only will be used on the good stuff. There are in my opion 3 ways to avoid notifactions from annoying apps.

Manuel

You can go inside settings for each app and remove notifications from the apps and that way avoid it more. But at least on iOS you have something else.

Focus mode

On iOS you can use something call focus modes which is a way to block certain notifications from appearing at certain times. I find it really helpful since once it is setup then things works very automatical and once the focus session is up your notifications will appear on your screen.

At the moment I am having normal, sleep, work, fitness, mindfulness, people, scouts and do not disturb. Each mode covers a certain aspect on my life since you can make as many you want and it is easy to switch between them. I highly recomend setting it up since it is an easy way to avoid certain notifications at certain periods of your life and there a lots of cool settings like block all people, some or none… decide if it is certain apps you wanna block or only those apps you wanna hear and other cool stuff.

Deletion

Another thing you can do to avoid notifications is to delete apps as most apps is also able as websites meaning you can avoid the notifications for good and only access the website when you need it. I have done so with my reddit app so these days if I wanna go a reddit I have to open it on the website where one sec I talked about also works,

To make sure I use my phone for the good things I will look at my apps and focus modes at least once a month since there is no need to have lots of unecessary apps on your devices since it is better to have room for your pictures and such. This marks the end of part 2, let us see what my mind have in store for part 3.

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Jesper's Posts

Moving to ‘offline’ part 1

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I start my series of moving to ‘offline’ that I have been trying to create since the start of January. Let us dig in my past first, I am a very digital minded person since I have never been good socially in person unless in my safe areas like home or work. Secondly, I have also been very bad at writting since I often have spelling mistakes or forget words completely when writting something plus I was very slow. This combi made me use a computer a lot and I recently started to feel ‘dead’ inside the computer world so I decide to try move offline. Don’t worry I will still be here and other places but might cut it down a bit which leads me to my first attempt book calendar and lifeplanner. I got them late last year and I could feel that writing down in them help me wanna do things again and not feel ‘dead’ like before. I will talk more about those in my later parts because today I will start by screentime.

Screen time

Screen time is how much time you use on your device daily and if you have an iPhone, the settings is also called ‘screen time’ and that is where I begun. The screen time allows you to see what and how much you use the phone, guess most people use it to control their kids but I will use it for myself and since I do not have any kids I will ship that part.

Step 1: Control

Before I felt ‘dead’ by online then I have on a longer period felt that I have used way too much time on Reddit so when I found an app named one sec which works by ‘blocking’ the apps and websites you do not want to use a lot I was happy. It ‘blocks’ your apps and website by pausing your action for amount of time to be sure you wanna go there. It helps me a lot but I have been a bit lazy lately so I just ‘unblock’ it. But together with screen control it can become even better since then you can tell yourself that you only want an amount of time inside that app or website. So that is my control.

Step 2: Cut down

Starting today (4. Febuary), I will cut down my reddit use to 30mins a day, and at the moment I will allow myself to use all my apps and such on my phone for 6 hours a day on screen meaning if I do not use 6 hours figuring out what song I wanna hear I can hear unlimited music. if I have freinds online and they wanna chat I will go past that time but other unecessary apps I will avoid. To help me focus on things around me and things I will do I will also use forest app which helps me by planting a tree and block my access to unecessary apps for a period of time while killing the tree if you fail.

Step 3: Goal

My goal for all of this is to return to the ‘offline’ world and be more alive again. So I wanna go down 3 hours of phone use, plant lots of ‘trees’ and be more alive in real life

That was end of part 1, the apps mentioned is some created by other people that I have found and paid for by myself.

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Jesper's Posts

Principles

Posted on by JTCHlife

What principles define how you live?

Well I recently learned about myself that I have become too focused on the future and the past meaning that starting today I plan to live in the present time instead. It means I don’t have goals, surely I have things I wanna do better but I feel like my life is good as it is so why ruin it by focusing on goals for the future or regrets about the past.

This quote was my daily quote from a motivation app I use daily.

As for focusing on getting better I wanna develop this habits:

  1. Get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and go to bed at 10:30 p.m. so I get a good night’s sleep and have a good day
  2. Stop damaging my nails and skin so my body
  3. Eat healthy, homemade food (four times a week), get enough fruit and vegetables (at least three portions) so that I am not held back by a lack of good food, and drink lemon juice three times a day.
  4. Hydrate with 2.5 liters of fluid a day consisting of water, kombucha, and only enjoy soda so that I am not held back by too much sugar or lack of fluids
  5. Focus on life and deal with changes through 4x meditation (day), mindfulness, and 1x reflection (day), as well as journaling and 3 goals for the day so I have a wonderful day
  6. Exercise 3x bouldering (week), 3x yoga (week), and 85km walks (month) so my body can be at its best
  7. Keep track of my finances with a budget so there is room for both savings and experiences so that life can be easy as pie
  8. Be more creative in my short stories and drawings and help the world understand Asperger’s so that life isn’t just movies, Reddit, and work.

Once I reach a good level of those I would let them grow with me so they are not goals but more as a way of getting better by the day.

That was my view.

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Shared Posts

Lessons From Past Life

Posted on by JTCHlife

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Jesper’s lesson

I wish I knew that things was not a race but that things comes when they come. To explain I feel like that I used to have in a big rush to experience things in life before because I didn’t understand I had plenty of time to do what I wanted or needed. These days I just take one step at the time while making sure that all my unique pieces are able to follow me to the new place in life.

Ria’s lessons

  1. Love or feelings cant be forced. No matter how big your love for someone is but no guarantee they can love you back.
  2. Dont trust anyone. Trust need to be earned. And fact that nowadays many people like to lie for their own benefit
  3. We dont need people’ validation. Stop thinking about people’ opinion about us. People dont pay our bill and they are not God. So stop thinking too much about them. As long as you dont hurt other people, you are free.
  4. Dont be people pleaser. It will hurt you. Just be nice and spread love but know boundaries. Dont let yourself to be used by others.
  5. Have boundaries doesnt mean bad. Boundaries protect you. It helps people to respect you too. Boundaries will help you to help people but keep you safe too. Not sacrifice you and everything you have for certain people only.
  6. Dont rush things. Everything takes time. Love, relationship, business and etc. Instant things will bring instant and temporary results. Many people failed because they trusted on instant things.
  7. The most important treasure in life is health. With good health we almost can do everything. We can work, enjoy good meal, enjoy our sleep, oxygen and etc.
  8. Have spiritual life will help life to be balanced. Believe in God, or any religion or spiritual practice will help life to have goals and be peaceful
  9. People that hurt you most of the time are people that got hurt too. So stop the hatred, forgive and move on
  10. The world doesnt revolve around you. Learn how to share this world with other people and be humble.
  11. Nothing permanent in this life. So dont take anything for granted. Cherish every moment. Feel grateful. Love more.
  12. Do good and good things will come back to you. What you sow is what you will reap. Karma does exist. Sometimes it is slow. Sometimes instantly.
  13. Listen carefully and be humble to learn from other people. Because our opinions arent always right. Learning is life time process.
  14. Mean words will make things worse. So be careful with our words. Communicate better
  15. Try to see good things even in a disaster.
  16. Have empathy and world gonna be more peaceful
  17. We are rich if we share our things with other people.
  18. Read more and travel more
  19. Be careful with money as money can change people to wrong directions.
  20. See people’ action. Dont trust their words without real action
  21. Be careful with people you allow to be in your life. Once you let the bad people in, they can ruin your life.
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Jesper's Posts

10 things you might not know about Asperger’s

Posted on by JTCHlife

1. Will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong
I hate to do things I know is wrong already so only if I am force or I do not know better then I will walk with the crowd

2. Don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations
I do not care what the social expectations says that you have to do, I do not care

3. don’t have hidden agendas
I say things blunt and yes it sometimes give me problems but I rather have it all in the open than keep it a secret

4. don’t usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization
I can talk to anyone as long you want to talk to me and I do not care about who and what you are

5. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others
please be how you are around me and do not fake it

6. have no interest in harming others
I do not like to hurt people which is also why I do not like fights no matter what, I know it sometimes means I go silent but it is just because I do not want to continue the bad way

7. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves
Sure I can have fun with you but I do not mind being on my own as well

8. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria
If you are kind to me, I do not care about anything, sometimes I just need a little ‘push’ to get started but that has nothing to do with you

9. you definitely know a few autistic people. Maybe you don’t know it, but you do. Maybe they don’t know it either. We’re 1% of the general population, which is higher than it sounds.
I might have Asperger’s but we are different just like you are to someone else

10. Asperger’s is not a thing anymore
I know Asperger’s is not a thing but it was when I was diagnosed and I am not sure where to place me in the new system.

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Jesper's Posts

B = Bullies

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we starts then I wanted to say sorry for missing yesterday but I was sick so lost mood and focus but I am back again and will return to publish every wednesday. I just felt the posts was too important to miss.

So back to the alphabet, this week’s letter is B and even that we are not far in the alphabet I feel that is one is one of the important ones for me at least. For the letter B, I have picked bullies which to me is two fold because to me it has two sides. A “Me” side and a “Others” side. I do not know how else to divide it so I can explain it but I cannot write or explain more without ruining the post so let us start with the “Others” side.

Others

The “Others” is the people who have been bullying me during my childhood and leaved me with bad scars in my soul, the only “good” thing about it all is that I did not knew what had happened to me before years after. Yes I was bullied and yes I was bullied a lot, I was also hurt a lot which was often just blame on me becuase I was at “the wrong place, at the wrong time” for anyone to notice that I was not a victim. I have made mostly peace with this part of my life but I wonder what made my class mates do that in the first place like one was a scout, another an army freak meant in a good way and so many others but everyone was evil to me. Good thing a guy tried to break my neck so I could escape for good even I did not understand why at the time.

Me

The reason I made a “Me” side is because I never and will not say I was a good child because I feel I have been a bully as well since if everyone you know have been doing bad things like bullying then how can you know things are not suposed to be like that. I did not know any better and I am not saying it is 100% an Asperger’s thing but we are different from you already and the way we learn things are different as well so not to use it as a bad excuse, but “Sorry that I did not know better” if I could have know it was bad I would have never started doing it back and I would never had held it back from my parents.

Conclusion

In my childhood before escaping the hell of bullies I would say that I was both the victim and the torture as I did know betters. Now-a-days I can bully for fun and see the difference but I guess sometimes the reason I get sick from work or what else I am doing is because I had “enough” of the world, not that I do not love my work or anything else for the matter but I guess it “Beep” up my head, making me sick. Recently started thinking of my go to phsycristist again to get it help to sort the things out and maybe get better that way. I will also use this to say sorry to anyone who felt I was a bully at any time during my life.

“Sorry”

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s in movies & series Part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

I did this a few months ago about movies with Asperger’s and now I have seen or head some new movies and series about people with Asperger’s so wanted to make a sequel.

I used to be famous

The movie is about a man (Vince) who used to be part of a boy band in his younger years and since then he has lost everything so he trying to get a new chance in music. One day he meets Stevie who is autistic and they cannot talk to each other at first and Stevie mom is very protective. Vince sees Stevie as his chance to enter the music again but on the same time he still trying to get over the death of his brother. Go watch it as it is on Netflix if you want to see a Vince maybe get his redemption and music contract. I like it because it shows that mother’s can be too protective of their kids.

Mary and Max

I have not seen this movie so cannot say what it is about but was told about it and read a bit about and after I read that it is about a 44 year old and a 8 year old who writes letters to each other. I feel so connect to the movie as I am using a app called slowly which is a letter app where you send mails to each other but you do not know the person in the other, other than they share plus the father the person is away from you the longer it take to reach the person and hopefully a letter back. The other reason I am felling connect is because I feel I have a better connection with kids and older people than those at my age.

Somebody

The series Somebody is a Korean series about a woman (Kim Sum) who has created a dating app when suddenly a man uses it to start killing people. The police wants the company to track him but they, they cannot and Kim Sum starts getting feelings for the guy because he is similar to her. It is a bit rough at times but I feel it does a great job at showing that even that Asperger’s might be made from gens it is also how your environment is. I would not go as far as saying I would do some of the things in the series but I have been bullied and teased a lot doing my child hood and because no one

Conclusion

Guess I just wanted to show that again there is plenty of movies and series with features people with all kinds disabilities and everything else so there is plenty to watch if you want to learn about people like me or others who might need a bit more help than you expected.

P.s the covers are all from IMDB

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Jesper's Posts

Sorry no post (Maybe go watch Somebody)

Posted on by JTCHlife

Just wanted to give a post this week and not like last week where nothing happened at all. I hope to return next week as life just happened and my head has been a bit full. Guess I want you to watch Somebody (Korean Drama) on Netflix with Asperger’s as well if I have to say anything this week. I have yet to watch it myself but guess I will soon.

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Jesper's Posts

10 myths about Asperger’s

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to share some myths about Asperger’s and answer what I think of them compared to me. Since all people with Asperger’s are different I will tell if I am different from others with Asperger’s according to the myth

1. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not have emotions or feelings.

Answer: I have plenty of emotions and feelings, sometimes I might even get it stronger than NT people.

2. People with Asperger’s syndrome have no interest in social interaction.

Answer: I like spending time with people but often need a break afterwards while I can get sick if way too many people in one time like in a mall on Black Friday.

3. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not have a sense of humor.

Answer: I have no humor… Of course I do but sometimes I do not get the jokes as quickly or laugh at other things.

4. People with Asperger’s syndrome are not interested in sex.

Answer: I am interested in sex, nothing more to say to that.

5. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not speak.

Answer: I, sometimes wish I did not speak because my mind sees a connection fast and sometimes it is not nice connection. Fx my uncle and cousin was one time talking about if there were cell phones back when my uncle was a child and without thinking I yelled “Nope they was first invited by the time he reached menopause age. But there are people with Asperger’s who does not speak.

6. People with Asperger’s syndrome are all geniuses.

Answer: I am not clever but not stupid either.

7. People with Asperger’s syndrome are mentally retarded.

Answer: I am not clever but not stupid either.

8. People with Asperger’s syndrome cannot have normal relationships or live independently.

Answer: I have been having 2 girlfriends and I am living pretty independently in an apartment. Of course my parents helps me a bit like you do with normal kids but doing fine on my own and have planned trips to Japan on my own before.

9. People with Asperger’s syndrome will never be able to hold “real” jobs.

Answer: I have work part time (25 hours) at IT company which takes 45mins by train to get there so maybe I am not able to work full time but I am doing my part and I love it.

10. Asperger’s syndrome disorders are extremely rare, and easy to spot when they exist.

Answer: If you know what to look for then there is plenty of us, but since it is not called Asperger’s anymore we are rare I guess lol

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