Tag: Alphabet

Jesper's Posts

P = Patient

Posted on by JTCHlife

Guess P arrived at a perfect time since I have recently been a bit stressed at work which made me lose focus her and other places in life but now I am back. I have decide that P stands for patient since to me it is a very strong word since it is both important for yourself and for others.

Patient for myself

Being patient for myself means that I do not need to rush things, I like to go though things in a flow instead of going crazy because I am late. I rather just take things as they come instead of focusing on how they should be, I know my past weeks shows that it is not always possible for me not to become overwhelmed but I try hard to do that. That also means I am often very calm around people as I do not see the point of yelling just because the other person is yelling. Sometimes I break down, I give you that but I hate fights and I feel if you cannot say things calmly then I do not see the point of listening. I can get angry as well but I really hate it since I feel I loss control over myself. That is all part of me being patient for myself.

Patient for others

By being patient for others is a bit like being patient for yourself. I find it a bit hard to explain what I mean about it but I feel these days we are more focused on our self than focusing on what other people has as needs. Guess an example could be that I want to have a seat in the train so I stand in front of the door to the train that people inside the train cannot get out from there and once the door is free I run to the seating place I want without thinking that maybe the old man with a cane maybe needs it more than me. I know people says that the past was better and other people says it is only better because you were younger and not so focused on the things around you and such. Well I am almost certain I can prove it since back in my childhood I remember one time I wanted to buy some cheese and biscuits for my mom in a shop, I only had enough money for the cheap biscuits if I wanted the right cheese. The owner knew me from when going shopping with my mom and decide to give me my favorite biscuits for the cheap price. These days I am sure that would not happen since people are so focus on themselves that they forget to be patient with other people. I am not saying it is like this all over the world but it surely is in Denmark.

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Jesper's Posts

O = Order

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week we are covering the letter O which is quiet simple as often people people with Asperger Syndrome wants order in the things they do which you can see a bit on this website since I until today posted every Wednesday and now I will change it to Monday and Thursday. If you could see my calendar you would also see all my order since I have decided to write down everything in my calendar so each day is booked from I should wake up to I should go to bed. But I can be very spontaneous and I often don’t mind that things changes even I prefer that things go as I have planned them. Guess it is also why Asperger’s hate dating, meetings and phone since there are so many things since there are so many unexpected things… I have never been on a date so cannot say anything about that but meetings is so annoying too me since I don’t feel I have much to say to them and I am not in mood to hear about things that people fighting during them which is how I feel when people don’t agree and people raise their voices. The place I got the idea for an Asperger’s alphabet also mentions food not allowed to touch each other. I don’t think this has been a problem for me but when I was a kid I used to eat things in order so first I would eat potatoes, then the salad, the meat and lastly the sauce instead of mixing it together… sometimes I still do that but now it is mostly to taste the things on their own.

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Jesper's Posts

N = Naive

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week we are covering the letter N and I have decide to make it stand for naive as people with Asperger’s can be very naive about things. I know I am very naive about things sometimes but I am slowly learning to avoid it more and more. I also read about that some kids with Asperger’s see their bullies as friends as because they give you interests. I am sure I did that as well since no many memories from my first class is happy memories and I was always the victim for the entire class. I do not remember a single person who did not bully me. Sorry that was a bit of a side track but I feel it shows that the world is a dangerous place if you do not open your eyes and focus on what is happening instead of just seeing it from the happy side that you feel it should be. For the record I would not say people who are naive are stupid they just try to see the goodness in other people that they feel they are bring to the table. I think one of the ways I have learned to be less naive is by watching all the movies I have seen since I can often see who the bad guy is before other people. Guess that was what I wanted to tell about naive, so please stop being an asshole to people trying to be kind to you.

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Jesper's Posts

L = Love

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week we are covering the letter L and I have decide it stands for love since I feel it is a subject worth mentioning. I am sure that many people know what love is and have experience it, I think I have even I am not 100% sure about it anymore. To people with Asperger’s I feel it can be a bit confusing since it is hard to read a person’s body language and know all the signs a person sends your way. It is also sometimes hard to send the right signals back, like one time I was in the UK and since it was one of the first times for me to be there on my own I was very interested in what the guide had to tell me and I did not know any of the other people who were with me so of course I talked to him mostly and since he was a guide I thought he might know some places for dinner in London. To make a long story short then he thought I was gay because of the signals I have sent him while I just have Asperger’s. He respected that once we found out what had happen and we still ended up having something to drink a few days later. The reason I bring this story up is because I did not feel I did anything special to him while he did and guess that also sometimes happens between lovers. Some people with Asperger’s is bad at expressing themselves so maybe they won’t tell you they love you a million times or remember the date of anniversary or do things randomly so if you are feeling a problem between you two. Try talk to each other instead of feeling rejected or worse feelings. These days I am often just myself which is fine to me and I like it since I feel dating is not my type of thing right now and if I do not use at an app or similar I would not have a clue about the age of the women and even I do not mind a young or older gf I want her near my age and not too much for either side plus I don’t want to go to jail because I looked at someone too young as I find it very hard these days, not complaining about people’s outfits.

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Jesper's Posts

M = Movement

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is M and I have decided it stands for movement since it can mean two things to me, one that I am not always the best to move my body aka motor skills which means I am very clumsy at times. I can fall over seemly easy and noticeable things but for some reason I am pretty good at climbing in trees and at boulders. When I was a baby I started walking early even before I was 1 year old but because I was so clumsy I stopped for a few months before I started again. I also climbed so much when I was younger than one time I was found in the highest tree of the kinder garden and by some luck they did not need a firetruck or similar to get me down from there. I wonder if that was the reason the cut down the tree. The other thing I am thinking about when talking about movement is that I not the best at moving around even I want to move to another place. I have moved out but I am not sure that I would have done it if not someone was behind me and forcing my hand a bit. I am glad to live on my own these days but life could have been different.

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Jesper's Posts

J = Joke

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is J and I have decide it stands for jokes. I picked jokes since it is often hard for people with Asperger’s to understand jokes. I remember when I was younger I often didn’t get jokes and when I finally got them people was either way past that joke or if I was lucky telling another joke, so I could hide that I was slow at understanding them. These days I am making jokes on my own and I understand them better since I have started to be able to read people. I still don’t get them every time but most of them I do. I like jokes as long as they are not hurting people even I sometimes can say jokes which might be hurtful by mistakes because it is often hard for me to read the room. As an example, I walked past a woman with a double pushchair and she walked like her kids was in there even they were not and I felt so fresh and in mood to joke that I looked at her death serious and said “you seem to have forgotten the most important thing” and she looked at me and responded “What?” And I could not stop laughing when answering “Your kids” and she luckily started laughing while replying “ohh I know where they are as I just left them” so it was a good day so sometimes that is how I joke but other times I don’t get the jokes. Asperger’s often only read the words no matter how you serious or how happy you maybe look… it is also why we don’t get irony or sarcasm. So next time you joke maybe make sure people around might not all get it

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Jesper's Posts

K = King

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is K and I have decide it stands for King and no I do not mean like a ruler but I like to think people with Asperger’s might be the king in a game of Chess.

Why, king

Well the reason I see an person with Asperger’s as a king is because we often need help to do things and there are different people and things which do that for us. I am not saying this is a what a psychiatrist or similar would say as this just hit me the other day since we were playing chess at work. Anyway as you know there are king, queen, bishop, knight, rook and pawns in chess

King

I already explained this one but to explain it better then I see us as a king since we need help with different things from different people and things. I also see them as kings since who is seen himself as a pawn unless you talk about work and such plus you are your own master.

Queen

Lets start with the queen, the queen is a strong piece who can move a lot in all directions which to me can be compared to a good mother and later in life a good lover / girlfriend who can help you all the time with things other people do not always see. This is the most important person for a person with Asperger’s

Bishop

The bishop is a good piece as well but can only move diagonal which to me can be compared to a good friend since even you are very good friends, it is sometimes hard for friends to understand what you need and what is wrong at the moment plus they have their own lives so sometimes you follow them for a while before losing them again.

Knight

The knight can jump over other pieces in chess which to me can be compared to having a pet since sometimes you prefer to be away from people but might feel lonely alone which makes a pet a good things since a dog or cat or some other animal can really make life great since they do not demand a lot compared to people at times.

Rook

The rook is a strong piece which can code from the side and be there which to me can be compared to siblings as they understand you better than a friend might do and they often jump in front of you or cover you if you need help since they care about you deeply.

Pawn

The pawn might not be the strongest piece on the board but you know that once you reach the end of the board with one you can change it into whatever piece you want. This compares to life as at first a person might not be important in your life, but once you get to know them they might slowly become something else and depending on how well things goes you might have a queen.

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Jesper's Posts

J = Job

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is J and I have decide it stands for Job even that I for a moment thought I should write Jesper since that is my name and that way talk about myself but I feel I do that already. Btw sorry that I was so slow to return here, I will be better now.

Job

I have decided to pick job out of the millions of words with J since Jobs is very important in life and no matter if you have one or don’t, I often feel that NT often forget that people with special needs have special needs.

Hiring

The first problem is that people often only hire those people who fits the role 100% and doesn’t look for people with special needs making it a bit hard for us to get a job but if you have a good job and allows us to thrive I am certain that your company will benefit from having a special needs person hired. As for the people with needs I think you should try find a field that both covers your abilities, your skills and your interests, I know you can say that to everyone but I feel it is very important for people with Asperger’s and others since it is hard to just do something you don’t like when you have limited energy already.

Work and workload

Just look at me I am working for a software company and I am only able to do 25 hours a week plus I have Wednesday and weekends as days off. I am lucky for that since I would not have enough energy for a normal work schedule and because I am working at a software company I am also able have some good assignments that used my abilities instead of just working at a shop with no good schedule or assignments that is inside my abilities. I know that not all people can be as lucky as me on that point but no matter what they need a job as well and that is where you come in. You are probably wondering why I say you even you the reader might not have a company or a position where you can hire someone but no matter who you are, you can always help a person with needs do his job and help he fit in instead of seeing him as something else. I think that most work places could benefit if people helped each other out instead of competing with each other. I get that some people are hard to work with or maybe you need to grow inside your own work.

Work is better than no work

Maybe your favourite thing is not able on the job market at the moment but then you should start small instead of just doing nothing since doing nothing just ends up ruining your opportunities so if you want a job as a teacher try become a scout leader, if you want to work as a programmer try find some online courses to learn so you don’t just walk around doing nothing since you need to learn the routine of working anyway

Talks

I know some bosses are bad but I am 100% sure that most people are good people so I guess it better to tell your boss you need something instead of keeping it a secret since why not get the help you can and need instead go home with pain every day because you needed a better mouse for the computer or similar. I am not saying you will get yes for everything but why not try.

Conclusion

Work can / will be hard but find something you like with your skill and interest. If you can’t find a job try give yourself some routine and get better at your skills

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Jesper's Posts

I = Identity

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is H and I have decide it stands for identity

Identity

I have decided that I stands for identity as I feel it is a very important word that many people forget. Asperger’s might be a sickness or disability depending on who you ask but no matter what I do it will also be part of my identity that I cannot change just like you cannot your eye color. Some people with Asperger’s is hit harder than me so of course I do not speak for them but I am very open about my Asperger’s and I have been happy to know why I am different from others and I would not change my life by remove my Asperger’s since I have to learn life again if I did. I do not want drugs or anything and would not even if I was the last person with Asperger’s I am happy to be the way I am. I do not know what else to say other than stay true to yourself and if people want do you harm they will do it no matter what, trust me.

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Jesper's Posts

H = Help

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is H and I have decide it stands for Help since I just had a period with too much things going on which is also why I have been away. But now I am back and things are good again except that my alarm clock did not ring as for some reason my phone was not charging during the night.

Help

People need help and sometime people with Asperger’s need more help that others like fx in Denmark we have something called FLEX job which is a good way to help people who cannot work full time. It means after testing I can work 25 hours a week while people I work with respects my needs. The work place gets paid for my sick days and some of my salary in return for making me able to work instead of walking around at home with little to no income. I am glad that exist as I am not sure I would have been able to work 37 hours a week which is the normal here without being sick often. Other people with Asperger’s or other diagnoses might have a hard time with more simple things like ordering food, talk to people, get dressed or showering. I sometimes need things explained to me but once I get them I often have no problems doing them. This is why I have decide that H stands for help since I also feel that people are slowly turning into one man armies who sees it as weakness to help the poor or those in need and get as rich as possible instead of helping people and make the army the entire country, make the country and the world a better place to in. If you need a good example of this then I think you should watch Rain Man as I feel it shows how people can be sometimes. It both shows how we with Asperger’s and other diagnosis need help and show that people wants to be rich or have fame even it is from 1989. Enjoy watching.

Conclusion

We do not always know we need help and some of us need more help than others so always respect people’s differences.

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