Today I just want to say Happy New Years to new and old followers, thanks for joining me on my quest to finish this book. I hope you all came thought it in good health. I cannot wait to post more often here and I have made a goal for 2025 that together with my beyondloveexistence.com I will make 2 posts a week, I might not be there yet but I will work my towards my goal.
Jesper
Hello,
Today I just want to say Merry Christmas and Happy new years to new and old followers, thanks for joining me on my quest to finish this book.
Jesper
This post inspired by movie ” I Used To Be Famous ” on Netflix. One of my favorite movies about autism. The review is still in my draft. Maybe i will post that soon. Yes … yes … i admit it is too late to post the review because the movie released maybe almost 3 years ago. But better late than never. Hehehe.
In that movie, a mother described as a very protective mother to her son that has autism. Thats what i feel about Jesper too. Sometimes impression that i got from him about his mom is a protective mother.
I have a daughter too. Teenager. I also have a super protective mother too. I am a neurotypical but i don’t know why she was very protective to me since i was born till about grade 7. So everywhere i went, she always sent her employee to go with me. Now also if her kids go somewhere that new, she will nonstop worried.
I guess i understand why the mother figure in that movie and Jesper’ mother for example, are very protective to their kids with autism. Actually their purpose is to protect their kids so people won’t hurt them. Usually related to bully.
But i can feel also that very protective treatment from mothers can brings uncomfortable feeling for the kids (the people with ASD or asperger) because it is usually still happening even until they are adult. Sometimes their mothers also try to get involved in their “things” for example about their love life. The mothers usually try to be more strict or controlling or wanna know about their kids’ relationships. Usually that will trigger friction between moms and kids.
I guess there are some ways that can be solutions to have a better condition :
If those things above go well, i think the friction because of super protective behaviors from the mothers can be prevented. Your moms love you. It is just they need to prepare you for the real world. Not just keeping you in her protection all the time.
And for mothers, we need to listen about our kids especially the ones with autism. They can be strong and independent if we let them to be. We cant always beside them to protect them forever. Expose them to the world so they will have strength and chance to be participate in this world with all kind of people. So they can be independent.
Good luck.
Today I have 2 things in mind…
Guess that was all for today
Hi everyone
Today 4/11-2024 I have tried to create a subreddit for this page. I will fill it up with old post and new post as my time allows me. I hope you will help us make a great community for all kinds of people. No persons (unless harmful) will be left out.
Thanks and cannot wait to see you all there
Jesper & Ria
Today’s post is going to be about sports as I feel that I had a great deal of issues finding a sport with space for me which might be one of the reasons that many with Asperger’s (My experience ) do not like sports. Another thing that sometimes make it hard is the social aspect of the sports. I have decided to go through the sports that I have been doing over my life of 35 years and tell why I think they either went well or ended up bad for me.
One of the first sports I ever tried was the classic football but truth be told I have never been good with a ball so I am not sure why I even tried. At practice things went okay I would say so far I remember but at the first match I played I had no clue about what to do and no one played the ball to me so I ended up going home after that match. I tried again some years after but I was still not good with a ball but this time the coach was a nice guy so I guess my football life ended at a 5/10 score because it was never excellent but my friends the second time made it fun at least.
Another sport I started very early was swimming since my mom wants me and my siblings to know how to swim because of some family event. So I would say I was forced to join swimming but it was quiet fun and it can be very one person sport. I have lots of good memories with it but I stopped because the team I was ending up swimming on was a competition team and in the end the competition felt too forced. I might have continued if I had the chance of swim without the competition as I loves being in water and took a diving license around 18 months ago. But at the team it was only possible to do some fitness stuff with older people and I was not in mood for that so my swimming life at 7/10.
This one was a really short sport for me, I started because in Denmark or at least in many danish schools you have a competition in school shooting with an rifle. I found it fun at the time but the fun after the competition quickly died since no one at the shooting place tried to teach us anything afterwards, so my parents had to help me. So 3/10, which might even be to high.
This one is one of the best since I am still an active scout member, just not a scout anymore but a leader which takes care of my old scout group’s 6-8 year old kids. The reason I feel scouts is so great is because of that it is so many things and even you feel you have experience it all, it just keeps on giving. I got started a bit late and unless my future love is too city like I think I want my kids to experience it as quickly as possible. Another good thing about scouts is that since everyone is different we are good at different things meaning you do not get forced to do things you do not like but are allowed to grow even more in those area you are good and fight in those you are not. So for sure a 10/10
Fitness is maybe not a sport per say but it is still about moving your body and I feel that the reason it quickly died out for me was because I felt you did not feel the progress happening for you. I know I did some running and some weights but never felt home there so instead I have decided to just walk around in town plus my boulders. 1/10 and that is for sure being kind
Boulders is a sport where you are climbing different routes in different difficulty and you can follow your own progress this way. It also have competitions but I have not tried it yet, which also reminds me of another aspect of this sport, it is as social as you want it to be meaning if you wanna be on your own you can check in, do your climbing, head home or you can start talking to random people about the routes since people have different experiences with the routes. Not like in fitness where you just talk about how much you can lift and such. This is great for me for personally since I some days I am in good social mood and want to get help and help others with the routes while other times I am tired and just want to be myself. It is also a good place to train your balance since you really need it to climb it which is one of the reason I continues to do it as my legs can be very stiff and my balance is very bad. The score is of course another 10/10 and before as a way to end this post I have added a picture of me from today climbing my first purple route which is level 5 in the system they use at my boulders center.
All in all I just want to show that there is lots of different sports in the world and I am sure that there are one for you as well, so you do not have to be in front of computer or television all the time.
Time to enjoy life
Today marks the end of the alphabet as we have reached Z, I already know wonder what I will about next week but I am sure something will come up. So back the the letter Z and this weeks word Zone. For those people who does not know zone, it is when you are interested very much into a subject that you forgets thing around you. Yes that sounds very normal I would say but the thing for Asperger’s is that we get so much in the zone that we forget everything else and I mean literally everything else and it can be so, lack of better word, bad for us that we forget to eat or drink and if you try talk to us we might even ignore you. I guess it is good to be in the zone since you get things done whatever it is legos, your job or what else just sometimes we need a timer so we know it is time for other things and I guess a heads up about the time is about to run out is good. These days I feel the introduction of all the notifications from phones and what else makes it a bit harder to get into the zone but it is still there. So sorry in advance if I am ignoring you.
Today letter is Y which I have decide means ‘YOLO’ which means You only live once and I think I will start living a bit after that since a friend from Slowly (Great and stress less pen-pal / friend finding app & website) said I was too much in the past feeling sadness and rage about the things which has happen to me. I am not 100% sure I agree with my friend that I am stuck in the past (maybe this post show I am) more than I feel hurt that people like are still treating people with diagnoses bad just because they are different that most other people. I am not sure what my first steps of YOLO but I want to focus more on the present and the future than the past now. If you read this before we reach each other friend then thanks a lot.
Today letter is X and I have picked x-ray since it is one of the ways you can see the difference between me with Asperger’s and you with a normal brain. I have no experience with it other than MRI scanning which was part of my finding out.
This week I have arrived at the letter W which I have decided stands wild since I some people watch people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses as wild people just because they are acting different that normal people. I know some of us have a hard time eating still in class and such but that does not mean we are wild animals it just means we need help and not people trying to make us less part of the school or whatever. I know it might be annoying for normal people but I am sure you also do something which might not be good for us as well and a good example is that your bully us for being different.I keep hearing people complain that we are wild and ruining class and yes maybe we are but have you thought of maybe try fixing the problem, I mean these days people rather want a tax relief than send more money to the school world and what else taxes is being used on. We all need a good child hood to get good jobs and good family in the end while if we keep blocking the ‘wild’ kids from being part of it then things ends up bad in the end for everyone. Sorry if my personal feeling comes out too much today.
You but different 