Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s alphabet

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna do an Asperger’s alphabet where I will write down the first thing that comes into mind about Asperger’s or me and then give a short explation about it. Then I will use it to make posts over the next weeks.

A = Asperger’s would be the most normal thing to write here but I find that a bit cheating so will write Atypical instead which is a awesome series about Sam, who has asperger’s and really enjoy penguins. We follow him in the changes of his life.
B = Bali, my next holiday… Cannot wait to go Ria.
C = Cans of soda… I drink too much soda so now I will cut it down and hopefully stop completely or at least only drink at events.
D = Do/did = things I need to do or that did, sometimes / often makes me overthing before and afterwards.
E = Everyone matters.
F = Favorite subjects, I almost always have a subject that I love to talk about and at the moment it is either Asperger’s or my novel Beyond love existence that I am really trying to write
G = Goals… I do not have a big goal at the moment and life is good so what more can I ask.
H = Humor, I have lots of it but not sure my humor is normal and sometimes I need to think a bit before I get a normal joke.
I = Ironi, I do not always get it and my brother jokes that he needs to hold up a sign to tell me that he was joking or similar.
J = Japan, just a wonderful place and very Asperger’s freindly in mind except for the filling of trains.
K = Kissing, I do not mind it but guess I perfer hugs.
L = Love, I wanna feel love like everybody else and just not always the best at show my feelings.
M = Movies, I love movies and would not live without those.
N = Neurotypical = ‘Normal’ people hahahaha, how does feel being labelled and that people sometimes just stop talking to you when they learn you are different from them.
O = Open minded, I am see people for people and not their religions, race or hobbies or what else as long it is legal and not hurting me.
P = Pictures, I hate getting taken pictures as I always feel out of place or similar.
Q = Quizzes, I like quizzes even I am not always the best at knowing the answers for them.
R = Ria, my best freind.
S = Stop blaming Asperger’s and autism for the reason you do not want vaccines.
T = Teamwork, I am not the best at teamwork all the time because I feel I loses control over things but things are getting better.
U = Unknown, unknown things can both be a good and a bad thing to be as I am not affair of trying new things but I am not always able to handle an unknown meeting or something like that.
V = Vaccines are good so stop blaming us for lies, sorry I said this twice but it really botters and hurt me.
W = War.. I hate it for both the killing and such plus the way people are treating other people.
X = X-ray, I was tested a lot during my childhood and I did not get an x-ray but got MRI instead.
Y = You only live once. I guess I should try to remember this so I can do more things in life.
Z = Zone somes I can focus on something so much I am in a zone and then things like food or you talking to me does not matter at all to me.

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Jesper's Posts

Being blunt

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna write about being blunt as often if you have Asperger’s you are often more blunt than an NT person because you do not have filters that explain you what is good or bad during an event or something. An example from my life was when my grandma had died and was in the hospital room for the dead, my aunt (child of my grandma) asked if we should sing a song and without think I replied “Are we here to rest the death or here to awake the death?” because in my family we are not very good at singing. My aunt knows me so nothing bad happen but it could have been bad if I did it to another death person’s family.

Why?

The first question I wanna ask is why I do it and to be honest it is because I do not think much about what I say sometimes and yes you are correct “You should just think before you speak” I can do that but if sometimes if I am listening to people talk I am not sure when it is my turn to talk so sometimes I am too slow or telling the person what I though of the things we talked about if more than one person. Being blunt also means I am very honest about things.

How?

The second question is how I do it and I do it because I feel there is no reason to sugarcoat it like NT’s do so the speech “If you want to know the truth ask a drunk or a baby” also means me even I am 34 years old and not drunk very often (last time was 14 years ago, but last alcohol was in July having an Aperol Spritz in Nice)

What?

The last question I want to ask is what can you do and guess if you want to help me then maybe we should all speak more clear about things and if you talk to me and other people on the same time, make room for me to speak.

Conclusion

Being blunt in my mind is better than the sugarcoating NT does because it leaves to so many miss understandings

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Jesper's Posts

Tiimo – a great app

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanted to write about being blunt but my mind was not in mood for that or ready, I am not sure so I decide I wanted to write about Tiimo instead which is a great app that really helps me these day even it might seem like a simple calendar. But to be honest I feel like my mind does not want to write a post at all so if it feels forced then it is but I really wanna get back to posting at least once a week again. Anyway let get started.

Tiimo App icon

Tiimo

Tiimo is a calendar app which is made in Copenhagen, Denmark (My home country) and it really sound like a cool company to work for but that is not the point today, sorry. Tiimo requires you to sign up by e-mail and looks like you need to pay for it but it is worth every penny to me. You also get some questions about how you are as person.

Calendar

When you open the app you can sync your calendar to the app but I have decide to use Tiimo 100% so everything is inside my Tiimo and I sync to my iPad as well. I wish it had a way to watch it online while I was at work or somewhere else I needed it without my phone.

Other than that there is a menu in the bottom with following options: “Right now”, “My Day”, “Explore” and “Me”. The pictures you see below is from my calendar as I am not affair to show it

Right now

Right now

As you can see then my “Right now” says I am doing WordPress at the moment and yeah as I am writing this post I was doing WordPress. I do not remember the standard settings but I have told mine to tell me when an event starts like WordPress and tell me when there is 5mins left of the event. I am ok, with keeping the time I just find it more easy to know when to do what. As you also can see I have added to task and once I have completed the tasks I can complete it them and complete the event

My Day

My day

My day as you can see is divide into blocks and I was lazy to get out of bed to day so I changed my day program so my morning stuff started at 11.30am instead of normal 6.00am. Normally I am also cleaning my apartment today but since I was lazy I will do it Saturday instead. I need to do the dishes no matter what so they have been done.

Explore

Explore

I am not using this Explore much but is a way to get ideas of what to do in life for those in need of help with that. I have always used calendar since I got a phone for that so I know pretty much what I wanna do so I am just creating them myself.

Me

Me

This is where the settings and help is. They also have a suggestion service and the only thing I feel missing is making events last longer than 1 day. I am a scout and sometimes I am going on scout camp for a weekend or such and then it could be nice to add it for more days at once.

Conclusion

If you need help with managing your time and is having a hard time focusing on your plans or have a hard time returning from focus I will highly recommend this app.

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Jesper's Posts

Please stand by

Posted on by JTCHlife

Hahahaha sorry, I could not resist to make a joke by writing please stand by because of today’s subject is “Please stand by” the movie from 2017 about a girl who has autism and is living in a home for people with special needs who goes on a trip across USA. I will talk about the movie and my own experiences related to that so bewared there will be spoilers.

Subject one: Living in special needs home

This subject I am not having much feelings about since I have only with my parents and on my own in apartment with my brother for a while but now I am alone again. But I have been studying in a special school because of my Asperger’s and we of course had our own needs during that period as well. I was more ready for school than many of my fellow students as I had been in high school while many others had a rough school life. Of course my life have been rough with bullies and such but that is another story. It was a good time and it helped me get the job I still have which makes me jump to subject two.

Subject two: Having a job

This one I have more connection to that subject one. I understand it sometime can be hard to find a job you like and even harder when you have autism or Asperger’s so it is understandable that she can hate her job without finding a new one. I, however, like my job very much. I would never be able to be a sales person like her as it requires to much social of me but I would also have problems saying with a certain voice when trying to sell something or talk about something. I still have bad memories from kindergarten teacher work practice where a person complained that I sounded negative when it was a joy of coming to work.

Subject three: Interests

In the movie the girl is a Star Trek and writer in her free time which really connects to me as I am a writer myself and I love science fiction which I know Star Trek is part of just never seen it much. I know it is a side node but in case you are interesting in my novels and such jump over here now. I understand it can be frustrating not to do things you like just because a person tell you no.

Subject four: Travel

In the movie the entire movie is about the girl traveling from one part of USA to another because she has to deliver her manuscript at a competition. She of course has problems because of she does not explore the world much and the home she lives in have made rules for her. I know I have a protective mom but still I have managed to be on several trips on my own. I have even been as far as Japan, I live in Denmark, on my own without guides or anything.

Subject five: Taken advantaged of me

I do not feel like I have been taken advantage of before (Maybe some people would say otherwise) but I am naive so I do not think it won’t happen even I block everyone who ask about money for bitcoin and the like. In the movie she get robbed while having fun with a kid and I am sure that would happen for me as well as sometimes I am not the best at keep focused.

Subject six: Family

I can understand why some people might be scared of a person does something unexpected and make them worried about what could happen to small kids and so on. My family never did anything special to me since I am not have episodes like in the movie.

Conclusion

I felt I really connected to this movie even that we have our differences and if you have watch Adam from 2009 then this another great movie about Asperger’s and autism.

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Jesper's Posts

Food + Aspergers

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to make a smaller post as I really don’t know what to write about but feel that maybe food could be a good thing. You see, people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses are often picky eaters like 46-89% according to this. They can be picky eaters for many reasons:

Sensory Problems

We can have sensory problems that make us want to have the food in a certain way like it to be hard, have a certain colour and so on.

Bad at eating their food

I didn’t know what to call this but some kids is bad at eating there food so maybe it hits inside the mouth differently which causes it to feel bad and if it feels bad enough we don’t want to eat that again.

Food cravings

Some kids also just get in love with certain foods and then only wants to eat that.

How to fix it

I don’t know how to fix it, but my parents have always been giving us the food I wanted if we were at a restaurant or somewhere else so I didn’t get a child menu or something special meal. If I wanted a fish, I got a fish. So my guess is that the mix that people are afraid of giving kids what they want and that people are eating so much junk food or have time to make some good food for the kids makes many kids picky eaters including people with Asperger’s and diagnoses. We just get hit harder because parents don’t have time to ‘fight’ us.

My meals

Like I said, then my parents always gave me what I wanted and the only problematic food I have is ginger, coffee and for some odd reason mashed potatoes. Otherwise I love trying new foods especially in a foreign country.

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Jesper's Posts

Not knowing the right words

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to talk about not knowing the right words as I feel or rather I know I did it again. In case the title doesn’t make sense then what I mean is sometimes I say things that might be in the best intention but it comes out wrong or at the wrong time.

Example 1

I am talking to a good friend X about how I feel about a date that I feel like my friend Y has put me on when I suddenly notice the time and wants put my attention on making sleep as I know it is a big day tomorrow. I can see now that it comes out bad as X just told the opinion about so it seems like I was blocking C while I was only trying to focus on X’s wellbeing because of the big day tomorrow instead of my stupid mind because of some small thing as a date when X’s is more important to me.

Example 2

I am talking to another good friend Y who has problems with partner Z and instead of saying something kind, I say something bad about Z and even Y is annoyed at Z then suddenly Y is mad at me for speaking my mind instead of being saying the right words.

Questions

I feel so stupid after doing it again recently so please help me answer these questions

  • How to use the right words to show the person you cared?
  • How to use the right words in a clear and meaningful way?
  • Why does my mind sometimes explode and say bad things instead of caring things?
  • Why do I hurt people when I try to show them I care?
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Jesper's Posts

Sex & Asperger’s NSFWish

Posted on by JTCHlife

Well today’s subject is maybe crossing the line for some people and not all people are the same so this is as always just my experiences with the subject. I will start by answering some questions that Ria gave me, before going to about me and ending with sexuality.

Do people with Aspergers interested in sex?

Well I think most people with Asperger’s has interest in sex, but it requires a great deal of things for them to make it happen… Here is a small list of reasons for me.

  1. I am not social enough to just date like neurotypicals
  2. I want a connection and not just do it because everybody else is doing it
  3. I feel like that during my teen years I spend more time learning about myself than learn the sexual stuff so I am “Slow”
  4. I am nerdy and not strong and buff
  5. I have no clue about what you want unless you tell me

Do people with Aspergers have less desire than neurotypical?

I do not think that the sex desire is less than with neurotypical but guess we just have a hard time showing and get to it

About me

Well I have not experienced it yet so nothing interesting to say about me but I would like to try it someday.

Sexuality

This is just how I feel when reading on forums like Reddit and such so sorry if it offends people or is wrong but I feel that most people with Asperger’s don’t just love girls but is a bit more into trying different things like being gay, trans and so on. Which maybe is making it even harder for us to do things in the name of sex. I am a normal person who just like a woman but have a few kinks that I wanna try if possible.

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Jesper's Posts

Crowds

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna talk about crowds as I would say it is one of my weaknesses as it really can make me feel uncomfortable very quickly. First I will talk about what happens to me when I am in crowds as there are 2 types for me.. 2nd I want to tell how I can beat it to a certain extent.

Type 1 indoor

This type is probably the worst thing you can do to me, place me in a room full of people that is all talking and the room is too tiny for us to be there. I have tried it a few times over the years and every time I start feeling nausea like if I have taking a rollercoaster one time to many afterwards I gets a bit of headache and then I start not being able to handle myself or focus on what I am supposed to do in the room and if too long I have lost all my energy. The longest I have stayed was during a meal. I recently tried it when I was at Le Mans when we was going to eat lunch inside a tent but there was too many people. I also tried to see if I could handle myself inside a mall on Black Friday but got sick in less than 15mins even I knew my goals before entering.

Type 2 outdoor

This type on the other hand in no big deal for me so as long there is air for me to breath I am alright. Of course I still prefer less people compared to many but I can handle it.

How to beat it?

It is very easy for me to beat it these days as now I know why I am getting sick so I can just go outside most of the times, but if I cannot do that I can pick up my noise cancelling headphones and play some music in my ears so I can focus on what I should do instead of becoming messed up. Of course that prevents people for interacting with me but it is either that or I am leaving.

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Jesper's Posts

Bad situation feeling and being left out

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before I start today post I will like to say sorry that I have not been posting for almost a month but the days just took each other but will try to make people happy once more and I hope to return to posting again. Anyway today I will covering 2 things, “Bad situation feeling” and “being left out”, an Asperger’s often feel or rather do so in my mind.

Bad situation feeling

Bad situation feelings is maybe not a term that seems normal for an NT but to me, Asperger’s, it means a lot because it means that I am bad at knowing what to do in a situation.

Example 1

If I am walking down the street and I see a man who is almost dropping a package he is walking with, I would maybe not react even it would seem normal to do so. I would rather mind my own business and walk past him like nothing happen. I ‘know’ this is wrong but still if you do not tell me you need my help I would not think about it. But if you want my help, then just tell me and I will do almost everything you ask me to as long it is legal and so on.

Example 2

A woman is standing up in a train but she is clearly pregnant. We do not have to go over that I ‘know’ it is wrong but unless I am told by the woman to give up my seat I would not do it.

WHY?

Well I do not always see the full picture when doing things and if people do not open their mouth I do not see the problem so I will just think you have decided to do it your way. I am getting better at it and please understand I do not mind helping people at all. And for the record about the pregnant woman, I have been told not to ask if a woman is pregnant so I am never going to do that so OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you want me to do something.

Being left out

This one I am not experiencing often anymore as people that know me are kind to me and we are having good time so I only have a maybe half example because I understand what is going on even it hurts a bit.

Example 1

I am seating in a full train on the way to work. The train is so full that people are sometimes standing in the walk path making it impossible to get in or out of the train. I feel left out or hurt if people do not seat next to me. It makes me feel like I am some bad person that no one wants to seat next to.

WHY?

I do not know why people do that but I know you do it to other people as well so not only me which is why I said it was a half example. Maybe someone can explain it to me in the comments. I am mostly fine by it these days but still a bit weird to be the only one without a seating partner.

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