Well, I have already been covering this a bit doing under letters but U = Understanding as I feel it is the most important thing you can do for and with a person with Asperger’s. I know that things might be easy for you or other people but sometimes I need to hear things a few times before I understand what I need to do and I am glad to learn it but if you just tell me to do things then sometimes I feel like I being force to do things. Fx I hate phone calls, I always had, always will no matter what you want me to. I can learn to feel better about phone calls of course but still no matter what you say or feel about it I will still hate them since I do not like them at all. Because of this ‘hate’ or fear of phone calls then I can have a million ‘good’ phone calls and still feel bad. I guess the reasons I hate them is because they are loud, unexpected and I feel like I share my world with the entire world and I do not like that unless it is happening in quietly like this text fore sample. I do not mind to share my thought, feelings and so on here since it is happening at the speed I want. I found them loud because of all the speaking and the phone ring itself. The unexpected comes that you never know when it happens, the phone call I mean and you do not know what will be spoken about while if you are texting, I only have to focus on the text, I do not need to focus on your voice, what people around me are saying as well and I can take things one at a time plus I have time to think. Guess this is a good example of how to understand me. I am not saying that NT are perfect but sometimes you act like if we do not do things exactly the same way as you then it is just bad. As for understanding me better you can always ask me questions as I love answering them plus I highly recommend the movie Adam as a movie to watch where you can see how Hollywood see us while Rain Man is an older but great movie too.
Category: Jesper’s Posts
T = Tests
I have decided that T stands for test since I have personally experienced being tested a lot of times before the doctors found out that I have Asperger’s at around 18 years old where I was at a psychiatrist since my head was the last place to look. Before that I went for MRI scanning, children doctor, almost allergic test, normal doctor and everything else which could maybe give an answer why I was sick so often as a child. I am glad that they finally found out why I was different and would not even wish for my enemies to not know who and why they are like that. These days things have gotten more easier to test since we have learned a lot about what to look for and how to do things better for Asperger’s. I guess now we just need to be better at knowing what to look for when looking at females since not many girls have it and it is very different that for males. Except for the bullies, then I think I had a fine childhood even that my parents had no clue what was going on with me so I would not trade it away even if a test who have helped me more since I am sure that it would have given me some side effects as well but I do hope that someone all get diagnose and people learn to understand and respect us.
S = Syndrome
Today I have reached S which to me covers syndrome as I feel many people forgets that it is a syndrome and not a sickness. I had a teacher in second class of high school who didn’t respect / understand that my Asperger’s was the thing that made me stressed and sick so he didn’t want me to go to school at all when I puked even it was only my Asperger’s which made it happen and not anything else. I wanted to go to school and I wanted to be part of the world but he didn’t see the point since according to his one words then ‘you are sick, don’t make your class mates sick as well’ so I lost mood to go to school some days because of him. Other times then people complain that people with Asperger’s is acting differently than me but just like people can be sick differently then Asperger’s can be different for people as well so don’t put us into one box. I understand it can be scary and maybe even frustrating to be a sibling of a person who needs very much help but we don’t all need as much help as in Rain man. I don’t know how to count cards either hahahaha. But seriously treat us like yourself and stop putting us in a box.
R = Routine
Today I have decide to continue with the letter R and I have picked routine. Personally I am fine being spontaneous sometimes so I do not need everything to be routines but I like that there is order and system in my things like I have a routine I do when I wake up, go to bed and such. I guess we like routines because we are not always the best at knowing what happens or what to do in new events and such. Other people with Asperger’s can have a serious meltdown if their routines are broken while my breakdowns more happen if too much is required of me. So if you really wanna make a person with Asperger’s feel good allow him to follow his routine and let him do it without telling about new things happening in 10mins but rather give him as early heads up as possible.
Q = Questions
After the long post last time with p for patient I have decided to pick questions since it is a short and simple. I love asking questions about things because I want to know the answer and it is not always it fits the context. Like I remember back in primary school we were learning about Greenland and I suddenly wanted to know everything about the narwhal and how many q’s inside the Greenlandic words. I had a good teacher back then so I got allowed but sometimes my questions can be rude without I think about it so don’t blame people with Asperger’s for asking rude questions but help them know that it is not the right question for the time being.
Btw this reminds me, feel free to ask anything you like about Asperger’s and I will do my best to answer them.
P = Patient
Guess P arrived at a perfect time since I have recently been a bit stressed at work which made me lose focus her and other places in life but now I am back. I have decide that P stands for patient since to me it is a very strong word since it is both important for yourself and for others.
Patient for myself
Being patient for myself means that I do not need to rush things, I like to go though things in a flow instead of going crazy because I am late. I rather just take things as they come instead of focusing on how they should be, I know my past weeks shows that it is not always possible for me not to become overwhelmed but I try hard to do that. That also means I am often very calm around people as I do not see the point of yelling just because the other person is yelling. Sometimes I break down, I give you that but I hate fights and I feel if you cannot say things calmly then I do not see the point of listening. I can get angry as well but I really hate it since I feel I loss control over myself. That is all part of me being patient for myself.
Patient for others
By being patient for others is a bit like being patient for yourself. I find it a bit hard to explain what I mean about it but I feel these days we are more focused on our self than focusing on what other people has as needs. Guess an example could be that I want to have a seat in the train so I stand in front of the door to the train that people inside the train cannot get out from there and once the door is free I run to the seating place I want without thinking that maybe the old man with a cane maybe needs it more than me. I know people says that the past was better and other people says it is only better because you were younger and not so focused on the things around you and such. Well I am almost certain I can prove it since back in my childhood I remember one time I wanted to buy some cheese and biscuits for my mom in a shop, I only had enough money for the cheap biscuits if I wanted the right cheese. The owner knew me from when going shopping with my mom and decide to give me my favorite biscuits for the cheap price. These days I am sure that would not happen since people are so focus on themselves that they forget to be patient with other people. I am not saying it is like this all over the world but it surely is in Denmark.
Sorry for the no post yesterday
I know I said I would do post twice a week now but my mind was not getting good ideas for the letter P yesterday so will try again Monday
O = Order
This week we are covering the letter O which is quiet simple as often people people with Asperger Syndrome wants order in the things they do which you can see a bit on this website since I until today posted every Wednesday and now I will change it to Monday and Thursday. If you could see my calendar you would also see all my order since I have decided to write down everything in my calendar so each day is booked from I should wake up to I should go to bed. But I can be very spontaneous and I often don’t mind that things changes even I prefer that things go as I have planned them. Guess it is also why Asperger’s hate dating, meetings and phone since there are so many things since there are so many unexpected things… I have never been on a date so cannot say anything about that but meetings is so annoying too me since I don’t feel I have much to say to them and I am not in mood to hear about things that people fighting during them which is how I feel when people don’t agree and people raise their voices. The place I got the idea for an Asperger’s alphabet also mentions food not allowed to touch each other. I don’t think this has been a problem for me but when I was a kid I used to eat things in order so first I would eat potatoes, then the salad, the meat and lastly the sauce instead of mixing it together… sometimes I still do that but now it is mostly to taste the things on their own.
Small but important post
Today marks the beginning of something new, starting today I will make posts here on you but different twice a week… Monday and Thursday each week except for next week where it will be Tuesday and Thursday. I cannot wait to get started and will write the next letter of alphabet today after this post.
N = Naive
This week we are covering the letter N and I have decide to make it stand for naive as people with Asperger’s can be very naive about things. I know I am very naive about things sometimes but I am slowly learning to avoid it more and more. I also read about that some kids with Asperger’s see their bullies as friends as because they give you interests. I am sure I did that as well since no many memories from my first class is happy memories and I was always the victim for the entire class. I do not remember a single person who did not bully me. Sorry that was a bit of a side track but I feel it shows that the world is a dangerous place if you do not open your eyes and focus on what is happening instead of just seeing it from the happy side that you feel it should be. For the record I would not say people who are naive are stupid they just try to see the goodness in other people that they feel they are bring to the table. I think one of the ways I have learned to be less naive is by watching all the movies I have seen since I can often see who the bad guy is before other people. Guess that was what I wanted to tell about naive, so please stop being an asshole to people trying to be kind to you.
You but different 