1. Will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong I hate to do things I know is wrong already so only if I am force or I do not know better then I will walk with the crowd
2. Don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations I do not care what the social expectations says that you have to do, I do not care
3. don’t have hidden agendas I say things blunt and yes it sometimes give me problems but I rather have it all in the open than keep it a secret
4. don’t usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization I can talk to anyone as long you want to talk to me and I do not care about who and what you are
5. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others please be how you are around me and do not fake it
6. have no interest in harming others I do not like to hurt people which is also why I do not like fights no matter what, I know it sometimes means I go silent but it is just because I do not want to continue the bad way
7. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves Sure I can have fun with you but I do not mind being on my own as well
8. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria If you are kind to me, I do not care about anything, sometimes I just need a little ‘push’ to get started but that has nothing to do with you
9. you definitely know a few autistic people. Maybe you don’t know it, but you do. Maybe they don’t know it either. We’re 1% of the general population, which is higher than it sounds. I might have Asperger’s but we are different just like you are to someone else
10. Asperger’s is not a thing anymore I know Asperger’s is not a thing but it was when I was diagnosed and I am not sure where to place me in the new system.
Today I will make a short post since my head is mixing between headache and being tired and I want to talk about the things we say to each other more precisely the words ‘Just do this’ since it is always simple to tell people to do something but if the person of the reviving end have problems then it is not so easy. I learned that today I would say. I guess it is best explained with an example.
If you tell a person to walk down the street then a good and fresh person would just do it no big deal I guess but if you tell me then I might start focusing on my legs since I am very clumsy, focus on people talking on the street since I need to be sure they don’t mention my name for some odd reason or maybe the weather is too warm for me so I focus tried to get cold again.
As you can see both people will manage to do what you asked of them but even it is a simple task I might use more energy on it than a NT person, not because it is longer but because so much is happening around me that NT would not notice so yeah you can tell me to do it something and slowly I will start doing it while getting better and better to ignore the things you don’t get focused on in the first place. So I am sorry I am slow to learn things sometimes but know that I always want to make you happy and do what you request unless really bad things.
Today I just want to say Happy New Years to new and old followers, thanks for joining me on my quest to finish this book. I hope you all came thought it in good health. I cannot wait to post more often here and I have made a goal for 2025 that together with my beyondloveexistence.com I will make 2 posts a week, I might not be there yet but I will work my towards my goal.
Today’s post is going to be about sports as I feel that I had a great deal of issues finding a sport with space for me which might be one of the reasons that many with Asperger’s (My experience ) do not like sports. Another thing that sometimes make it hard is the social aspect of the sports. I have decided to go through the sports that I have been doing over my life of 35 years and tell why I think they either went well or ended up bad for me.
Football (Soccer)
One of the first sports I ever tried was the classic football but truth be told I have never been good with a ball so I am not sure why I even tried. At practice things went okay I would say so far I remember but at the first match I played I had no clue about what to do and no one played the ball to me so I ended up going home after that match. I tried again some years after but I was still not good with a ball but this time the coach was a nice guy so I guess my football life ended at a 5/10 score because it was never excellent but my friends the second time made it fun at least.
Swimming
Another sport I started very early was swimming since my mom wants me and my siblings to know how to swim because of some family event. So I would say I was forced to join swimming but it was quiet fun and it can be very one person sport. I have lots of good memories with it but I stopped because the team I was ending up swimming on was a competition team and in the end the competition felt too forced. I might have continued if I had the chance of swim without the competition as I loves being in water and took a diving license around 18 months ago. But at the team it was only possible to do some fitness stuff with older people and I was not in mood for that so my swimming life at 7/10.
Shooting with rifle
This one was a really short sport for me, I started because in Denmark or at least in many danish schools you have a competition in school shooting with an rifle. I found it fun at the time but the fun after the competition quickly died since no one at the shooting place tried to teach us anything afterwards, so my parents had to help me. So 3/10, which might even be to high.
Scouts
This one is one of the best since I am still an active scout member, just not a scout anymore but a leader which takes care of my old scout group’s 6-8 year old kids. The reason I feel scouts is so great is because of that it is so many things and even you feel you have experience it all, it just keeps on giving. I got started a bit late and unless my future love is too city like I think I want my kids to experience it as quickly as possible. Another good thing about scouts is that since everyone is different we are good at different things meaning you do not get forced to do things you do not like but are allowed to grow even more in those area you are good and fight in those you are not. So for sure a 10/10
Fitness
Fitness is maybe not a sport per say but it is still about moving your body and I feel that the reason it quickly died out for me was because I felt you did not feel the progress happening for you. I know I did some running and some weights but never felt home there so instead I have decided to just walk around in town plus my boulders. 1/10 and that is for sure being kind
Boulders
Boulders is a sport where you are climbing different routes in different difficulty and you can follow your own progress this way. It also have competitions but I have not tried it yet, which also reminds me of another aspect of this sport, it is as social as you want it to be meaning if you wanna be on your own you can check in, do your climbing, head home or you can start talking to random people about the routes since people have different experiences with the routes. Not like in fitness where you just talk about how much you can lift and such. This is great for me for personally since I some days I am in good social mood and want to get help and help others with the routes while other times I am tired and just want to be myself. It is also a good place to train your balance since you really need it to climb it which is one of the reason I continues to do it as my legs can be very stiff and my balance is very bad. The score is of course another 10/10 and before as a way to end this post I have added a picture of me from today climbing my first purple route which is level 5 in the system they use at my boulders center.
My first purple 🙂
All in all I just want to show that there is lots of different sports in the world and I am sure that there are one for you as well, so you do not have to be in front of computer or television all the time.
Today marks the end of the alphabet as we have reached Z, I already know wonder what I will about next week but I am sure something will come up. So back the the letter Z and this weeks word Zone. For those people who does not know zone, it is when you are interested very much into a subject that you forgets thing around you. Yes that sounds very normal I would say but the thing for Asperger’s is that we get so much in the zone that we forget everything else and I mean literally everything else and it can be so, lack of better word, bad for us that we forget to eat or drink and if you try talk to us we might even ignore you. I guess it is good to be in the zone since you get things done whatever it is legos, your job or what else just sometimes we need a timer so we know it is time for other things and I guess a heads up about the time is about to run out is good. These days I feel the introduction of all the notifications from phones and what else makes it a bit harder to get into the zone but it is still there. So sorry in advance if I am ignoring you.
Today letter is Y which I have decide means ‘YOLO’ which means You only live once and I think I will start living a bit after that since a friend from Slowly (Great and stress less pen-pal / friend finding app & website) said I was too much in the past feeling sadness and rage about the things which has happen to me. I am not 100% sure I agree with my friend that I am stuck in the past (maybe this post show I am) more than I feel hurt that people like are still treating people with diagnoses bad just because they are different that most other people. I am not sure what my first steps of YOLO but I want to focus more on the present and the future than the past now. If you read this before we reach each other friend then thanks a lot.
Today letter is X and I have picked x-ray since it is one of the ways you can see the difference between me with Asperger’s and you with a normal brain. I have no experience with it other than MRI scanning which was part of my finding out.
This week I have arrived at the letter W which I have decided stands wild since I some people watch people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses as wild people just because they are acting different that normal people. I know some of us have a hard time eating still in class and such but that does not mean we are wild animals it just means we need help and not people trying to make us less part of the school or whatever. I know it might be annoying for normal people but I am sure you also do something which might not be good for us as well and a good example is that your bully us for being different.I keep hearing people complain that we are wild and ruining class and yes maybe we are but have you thought of maybe try fixing the problem, I mean these days people rather want a tax relief than send more money to the school world and what else taxes is being used on. We all need a good child hood to get good jobs and good family in the end while if we keep blocking the ‘wild’ kids from being part of it then things ends up bad in the end for everyone. Sorry if my personal feeling comes out too much today.
I have decided that todays letter V stands for voice as it has two important meanings in my opinion so let gets to it.
The first voice is the way we speak and talk to each other which might not seem like a big deal to you, but you are using your voice to show how you feel and such since if you with smiling you will sound joyful and such but people with Asperger’s sometimes have voices that don’t go with the conversation they are having with you, meaning you might find them rude even they are not trying to be. Another thing I know from myself is that I can become very loud if I am very interested in the subject which might be bad if people needs me to be quiet.
The second voice is that I feel that people forget that people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses is people too so sometimes you take our voice and throw it away since you don’t feel our voice is valid in the context but every opinion and voice should be respected and at least heard.
Today I won’t write on my alphabet as I have decided to give a small short out to Rei Rei’s book The Labyrinth which is a book that can help with some of the feelings you feel in life and that way become better for yourself and other’s so I highly recommend it even I have not finished it yet.
You but different 