Category: Jesper’s Posts

Jesper's Posts

Please stand by

Posted on by JTCHlife

Hahahaha sorry, I could not resist to make a joke by writing please stand by because of today’s subject is “Please stand by” the movie from 2017 about a girl who has autism and is living in a home for people with special needs who goes on a trip across USA. I will talk about the movie and my own experiences related to that so bewared there will be spoilers.

Subject one: Living in special needs home

This subject I am not having much feelings about since I have only with my parents and on my own in apartment with my brother for a while but now I am alone again. But I have been studying in a special school because of my Asperger’s and we of course had our own needs during that period as well. I was more ready for school than many of my fellow students as I had been in high school while many others had a rough school life. Of course my life have been rough with bullies and such but that is another story. It was a good time and it helped me get the job I still have which makes me jump to subject two.

Subject two: Having a job

This one I have more connection to that subject one. I understand it sometime can be hard to find a job you like and even harder when you have autism or Asperger’s so it is understandable that she can hate her job without finding a new one. I, however, like my job very much. I would never be able to be a sales person like her as it requires to much social of me but I would also have problems saying with a certain voice when trying to sell something or talk about something. I still have bad memories from kindergarten teacher work practice where a person complained that I sounded negative when it was a joy of coming to work.

Subject three: Interests

In the movie the girl is a Star Trek and writer in her free time which really connects to me as I am a writer myself and I love science fiction which I know Star Trek is part of just never seen it much. I know it is a side node but in case you are interesting in my novels and such jump over here now. I understand it can be frustrating not to do things you like just because a person tell you no.

Subject four: Travel

In the movie the entire movie is about the girl traveling from one part of USA to another because she has to deliver her manuscript at a competition. She of course has problems because of she does not explore the world much and the home she lives in have made rules for her. I know I have a protective mom but still I have managed to be on several trips on my own. I have even been as far as Japan, I live in Denmark, on my own without guides or anything.

Subject five: Taken advantaged of me

I do not feel like I have been taken advantage of before (Maybe some people would say otherwise) but I am naive so I do not think it won’t happen even I block everyone who ask about money for bitcoin and the like. In the movie she get robbed while having fun with a kid and I am sure that would happen for me as well as sometimes I am not the best at keep focused.

Subject six: Family

I can understand why some people might be scared of a person does something unexpected and make them worried about what could happen to small kids and so on. My family never did anything special to me since I am not have episodes like in the movie.

Conclusion

I felt I really connected to this movie even that we have our differences and if you have watch Adam from 2009 then this another great movie about Asperger’s and autism.

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Jesper's Posts

Food + Aspergers

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to make a smaller post as I really don’t know what to write about but feel that maybe food could be a good thing. You see, people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses are often picky eaters like 46-89% according to this. They can be picky eaters for many reasons:

Sensory Problems

We can have sensory problems that make us want to have the food in a certain way like it to be hard, have a certain colour and so on.

Bad at eating their food

I didn’t know what to call this but some kids is bad at eating there food so maybe it hits inside the mouth differently which causes it to feel bad and if it feels bad enough we don’t want to eat that again.

Food cravings

Some kids also just get in love with certain foods and then only wants to eat that.

How to fix it

I don’t know how to fix it, but my parents have always been giving us the food I wanted if we were at a restaurant or somewhere else so I didn’t get a child menu or something special meal. If I wanted a fish, I got a fish. So my guess is that the mix that people are afraid of giving kids what they want and that people are eating so much junk food or have time to make some good food for the kids makes many kids picky eaters including people with Asperger’s and diagnoses. We just get hit harder because parents don’t have time to ‘fight’ us.

My meals

Like I said, then my parents always gave me what I wanted and the only problematic food I have is ginger, coffee and for some odd reason mashed potatoes. Otherwise I love trying new foods especially in a foreign country.

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Jesper's Posts

Not knowing the right words

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to talk about not knowing the right words as I feel or rather I know I did it again. In case the title doesn’t make sense then what I mean is sometimes I say things that might be in the best intention but it comes out wrong or at the wrong time.

Example 1

I am talking to a good friend X about how I feel about a date that I feel like my friend Y has put me on when I suddenly notice the time and wants put my attention on making sleep as I know it is a big day tomorrow. I can see now that it comes out bad as X just told the opinion about so it seems like I was blocking C while I was only trying to focus on X’s wellbeing because of the big day tomorrow instead of my stupid mind because of some small thing as a date when X’s is more important to me.

Example 2

I am talking to another good friend Y who has problems with partner Z and instead of saying something kind, I say something bad about Z and even Y is annoyed at Z then suddenly Y is mad at me for speaking my mind instead of being saying the right words.

Questions

I feel so stupid after doing it again recently so please help me answer these questions

  • How to use the right words to show the person you cared?
  • How to use the right words in a clear and meaningful way?
  • Why does my mind sometimes explode and say bad things instead of caring things?
  • Why do I hurt people when I try to show them I care?
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Jesper's Posts

Sex & Asperger’s NSFWish

Posted on by JTCHlife

Well today’s subject is maybe crossing the line for some people and not all people are the same so this is as always just my experiences with the subject. I will start by answering some questions that Ria gave me, before going to about me and ending with sexuality.

Do people with Aspergers interested in sex?

Well I think most people with Asperger’s has interest in sex, but it requires a great deal of things for them to make it happen… Here is a small list of reasons for me.

  1. I am not social enough to just date like neurotypicals
  2. I want a connection and not just do it because everybody else is doing it
  3. I feel like that during my teen years I spend more time learning about myself than learn the sexual stuff so I am “Slow”
  4. I am nerdy and not strong and buff
  5. I have no clue about what you want unless you tell me

Do people with Aspergers have less desire than neurotypical?

I do not think that the sex desire is less than with neurotypical but guess we just have a hard time showing and get to it

About me

Well I have not experienced it yet so nothing interesting to say about me but I would like to try it someday.

Sexuality

This is just how I feel when reading on forums like Reddit and such so sorry if it offends people or is wrong but I feel that most people with Asperger’s don’t just love girls but is a bit more into trying different things like being gay, trans and so on. Which maybe is making it even harder for us to do things in the name of sex. I am a normal person who just like a woman but have a few kinks that I wanna try if possible.

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Jesper's Posts

Crowds

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna talk about crowds as I would say it is one of my weaknesses as it really can make me feel uncomfortable very quickly. First I will talk about what happens to me when I am in crowds as there are 2 types for me.. 2nd I want to tell how I can beat it to a certain extent.

Type 1 indoor

This type is probably the worst thing you can do to me, place me in a room full of people that is all talking and the room is too tiny for us to be there. I have tried it a few times over the years and every time I start feeling nausea like if I have taking a rollercoaster one time to many afterwards I gets a bit of headache and then I start not being able to handle myself or focus on what I am supposed to do in the room and if too long I have lost all my energy. The longest I have stayed was during a meal. I recently tried it when I was at Le Mans when we was going to eat lunch inside a tent but there was too many people. I also tried to see if I could handle myself inside a mall on Black Friday but got sick in less than 15mins even I knew my goals before entering.

Type 2 outdoor

This type on the other hand in no big deal for me so as long there is air for me to breath I am alright. Of course I still prefer less people compared to many but I can handle it.

How to beat it?

It is very easy for me to beat it these days as now I know why I am getting sick so I can just go outside most of the times, but if I cannot do that I can pick up my noise cancelling headphones and play some music in my ears so I can focus on what I should do instead of becoming messed up. Of course that prevents people for interacting with me but it is either that or I am leaving.

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Jesper's Posts

Bad situation feeling and being left out

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before I start today post I will like to say sorry that I have not been posting for almost a month but the days just took each other but will try to make people happy once more and I hope to return to posting again. Anyway today I will covering 2 things, “Bad situation feeling” and “being left out”, an Asperger’s often feel or rather do so in my mind.

Bad situation feeling

Bad situation feelings is maybe not a term that seems normal for an NT but to me, Asperger’s, it means a lot because it means that I am bad at knowing what to do in a situation.

Example 1

If I am walking down the street and I see a man who is almost dropping a package he is walking with, I would maybe not react even it would seem normal to do so. I would rather mind my own business and walk past him like nothing happen. I ‘know’ this is wrong but still if you do not tell me you need my help I would not think about it. But if you want my help, then just tell me and I will do almost everything you ask me to as long it is legal and so on.

Example 2

A woman is standing up in a train but she is clearly pregnant. We do not have to go over that I ‘know’ it is wrong but unless I am told by the woman to give up my seat I would not do it.

WHY?

Well I do not always see the full picture when doing things and if people do not open their mouth I do not see the problem so I will just think you have decided to do it your way. I am getting better at it and please understand I do not mind helping people at all. And for the record about the pregnant woman, I have been told not to ask if a woman is pregnant so I am never going to do that so OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you want me to do something.

Being left out

This one I am not experiencing often anymore as people that know me are kind to me and we are having good time so I only have a maybe half example because I understand what is going on even it hurts a bit.

Example 1

I am seating in a full train on the way to work. The train is so full that people are sometimes standing in the walk path making it impossible to get in or out of the train. I feel left out or hurt if people do not seat next to me. It makes me feel like I am some bad person that no one wants to seat next to.

WHY?

I do not know why people do that but I know you do it to other people as well so not only me which is why I said it was a half example. Maybe someone can explain it to me in the comments. I am mostly fine by it these days but still a bit weird to be the only one without a seating partner.

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Jesper's Posts

Spoon theory

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna talk about spoon theory, don’t remember where I learned about it but thanks to the creator it is really helpful for me and I felt I needed to share it with the world

In case anyone want a short post about spoon theory then it is a way to explain how much energy you have each day and how much each event costs to you.

12 spoons

The first thing to know about spoon theory is that on a normal / good day I have 12 spoons to complete the day and they all depends on how good my sleep was… if it was bad I can lose some meaning I might have only 10 spoons that day. I can sometimes borrow some from the day after but I rarely do it as that means I have less for the day after and don’t want that.

List of events and spoon costs

  • Work = 6 spoons
  • Scouts = 1 spoon
  • Boulders = 1 spoon
  • Friends / Family = 1 spoon
  • Cleaning day = 5 spoons
  • Brain routine = 1 spoon

As you can see, depending on how much I do that, it cost more… nothing is ever free but something cost so little it doesn’t count. An important thing to remember about the number of spoons things costs. It is only when things goes smoothly if things goes bad, I suddenly use much more spoons.

A normal day

On a normal day I do everything to make things only cost me 10 spoons as I never know when things goes wrong and suddenly cost more. An example could be that my train was cancelled so I had to travel in a more full train so normally it doesn’t bother me to take train but because of the changes it suddenly cost me 1 spoon.

  • Wake up & morning routine = 1/2 spoon
  • Transport to/from work = 0 spoons
  • Work with a single meeting = 6 spoons
  • Transport to/from scouts = 0 spoons
  • Scouts = 2 spoons
  • Evening routine = 1/2 spoons
  • Brain routine = 1 spoon

That is how my Monday looks if anything is good meaning I have 2 spare spoons.

Help

If you have a friend or family member with Asperger’s or autism it might be helpful for the person to use this to make you understand how their energy is used. I am doing good at normal things but other people might need to use a spoon for something as simple as taking shoes on so respect that people might need more energy than you.

Thanks for listening and I really hope some of you can use it

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Jesper's Posts

Being overwhelmed

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I want to talk about being overwhelmed and how it effects me. I don’t know how this works 100% so don’t know if there are different types so this is how I experience it. I will start by telling so stories about it and then try to to explain what happens to me and how I think I can prevent it.

Story 1

The first time I was really overwhelmed with thoughts was back when I was going to have my first new boss. The work place I am working had been under the same boss for almost the whole time it had existed and even that we felt we was a separate company my boss still had someone to report to. Because of the way my position was I was directly under the boss who was getting replaced because he didn’t want to be a boss anymore. The overwhelming started as my coworkers and the boss wanted one of my coworkers as the new boss but the people that my old boss reported to didn’t and that made the entire office really bad mood and everybody was very negative and angry about it. Which left me scared about how things would change and so on. Things got worse and worse almost daily and I lost the good mood I had and the like. We got a new boss who was a man from the outside and the only thing take prevented me from going nuts on his first day was that he had forgotten his lunch so he had to join me and a few others to the cafeteria and he showed he was a normal person like the rest of us.

Story 2

The second story I want to tell is not done yet as we are still moving to a new office building but this time I am more happy and better at seeing what I want to see than being hit by group pressure. So I am sure this will happen become good again like last time but I did have some flashbacks from the boss episode. It didn’t help that people was used to big office with small numbers while the new office is smaller rooms and bigger groups people. I got a bit lost again but one week I didn’t go to work Wednesday where my coworkers had a meeting and it was a crazy change from bad to good over the day off.

What happens

When I get overwhelmed I become:

  • Focused on negative things
  • Lose my head
  • Gets annoyed
  • Loses my good mood

I guess most are self explanatory so ask if you need help to understand them

How to prevent it

I am not sure how to prevent it other than try to look at the positives things and talk to people about the things that they are annoyed about so miss understanding doesn’t happen

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s in movies & series Part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

I did this a few months ago about movies with Asperger’s and now I have seen or head some new movies and series about people with Asperger’s so wanted to make a sequel.

I used to be famous

The movie is about a man (Vince) who used to be part of a boy band in his younger years and since then he has lost everything so he trying to get a new chance in music. One day he meets Stevie who is autistic and they cannot talk to each other at first and Stevie mom is very protective. Vince sees Stevie as his chance to enter the music again but on the same time he still trying to get over the death of his brother. Go watch it as it is on Netflix if you want to see a Vince maybe get his redemption and music contract. I like it because it shows that mother’s can be too protective of their kids.

Mary and Max

I have not seen this movie so cannot say what it is about but was told about it and read a bit about and after I read that it is about a 44 year old and a 8 year old who writes letters to each other. I feel so connect to the movie as I am using a app called slowly which is a letter app where you send mails to each other but you do not know the person in the other, other than they share plus the father the person is away from you the longer it take to reach the person and hopefully a letter back. The other reason I am felling connect is because I feel I have a better connection with kids and older people than those at my age.

Somebody

The series Somebody is a Korean series about a woman (Kim Sum) who has created a dating app when suddenly a man uses it to start killing people. The police wants the company to track him but they, they cannot and Kim Sum starts getting feelings for the guy because he is similar to her. It is a bit rough at times but I feel it does a great job at showing that even that Asperger’s might be made from gens it is also how your environment is. I would not go as far as saying I would do some of the things in the series but I have been bullied and teased a lot doing my child hood and because no one

Conclusion

Guess I just wanted to show that again there is plenty of movies and series with features people with all kinds disabilities and everything else so there is plenty to watch if you want to learn about people like me or others who might need a bit more help than you expected.

P.s the covers are all from IMDB

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