Category: Jesper’s Posts

Jesper's Posts

G = Groups

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is G and I have decided that it stands for groups since I think it is a major thing. My experiences with groups have been both good and bad. Let us start with the bad because I think most people with Asperger’s experience that those things.

Bad

Group work -> I am bad in classes since people are bad at helping each other and I feel like I lose track of things since no one has a clear line about what will happen. One time in high school I was getting into a group with two girls I did not talk to much and even that I said they could contact me any time so we could do the assignment together they never did and I ended up failing the assignment since I had been so focused with other things that I forgot about it. Not 100% their fault but still they did not give me a chance.

Class (Noisy area) -> I am fine with noisy areas mostly so cannot speak about that but I get why it is hard to focus. But if there is too many people in the room I can get sick from it. One time I tried to learn a bit about myself so I went to the mall on black Friday and I got sick from being there for less than 15mins even I had a plan and a goal for the day. These days I can just use noise cancelling headphones.

Good

Scouts -> I am good at group assignments when I at the scouts because I feel that at scouts you do what you are good at while others do what they are good at and that way things get done instead of people who bad at chopping wood gets to do that and so on

Work -> I am good in groups at work since it is a bit similar to scouts plus there is a boss telling what needing to be done.

Conclusion

If you want to help your fellow Asperger’s and make them have a good time, do not always bring them to a noisy area.

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Jesper's Posts

F = Fake

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week’s letter is F and I have decided that it stands for fake and before you all go nuts then I am not saying Asperger’s is fake. I have picked fake because 2 things. 1. Fake news and 2. Being called ‘Fake’, which I will come back to. Normally I would have divided this into 2 headlines but I feel they are so connected that you cannot really divide them completely. Both of the things hurt me deeply and if you do any of them to me I would say it is more than being a bully without knowing the correct word. So the fake news that hurts me is that so many people seems to not want to give their kids vaccines because they have gotten some crazy idea that vaccines gives kids Asperger’s, autism and diagnoses like that and it really don’t. I don’t want to argue about it here unless necessary so here is a link that explains what happened back when it was suggested. As finally words about this I just want to say it is really hurting me to know people rather want their kids to have problems with curable diseases than have a kid like me. Back to my other part of fake… the other part of fake is being called fake and by that I mean literally what I say on the label, that people think you are faking it. I am not sure why people say it but I think it is because I am living in a rich country where it is possible to get help or just something as simple as you being jealous on me. My experience with being called fake was not directly at me but I still felt hurt. It was two older ladies who were seating in a train next to me and their subject was that Asperger’s was fake. They talk about that we “Asperger’s” just did it to get attention and get free money from the government and so on. Well if people knew how much I have done to get to where I am today then they would be chocked I hope. I didn’t have an easy beginner because of bullies, I could not get my dream job at the time because people couldn’t see past it but when the puzzles suddenly was built I have been having a great life. I still need a bit of help but I am giving back to that by being able to pay taxes and such things now. Plus for the record it would be harder for me to live if I just took the “free” money so it wouldn’t be a luxury but more a necessity if I needed to do that. Guess that was all I had on my mind for this week.

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Jesper's Posts

E = Eye contact or energy

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week was close to be missing in action as I have been sick since Monday with gastroenteritis but I am feeling better now so I can continue my normal life. Anyway back today’s post where we have reached E, which to me is not hard to find words for so I have decide to pick eye contact and energy since I feel they are both important to me.

Eye contact

The reason I feel eye contact is important is because I feel that NT is finding it important. I used to be bad at it but slowly I am getting better, no thanks to that one lady in kindergarten school who got angry at me for looking at a table because I was crying while she read 4 whole A4 pages with bad things about me. Sorry that was a side track, these days if I know the person well and I am having a good time with the person I can look into the person’s eyes while if I do not know the person much I tend to look at the area of the nose which is between the eyes so it looks like I am looking into their eyes but I am not. I do not remember where I got this trick but seems it has been somewhere on the internet since it can be found so many place with little differences here and there. I feel it is bit hard to do if there are something I “need” to focus at while talking or whatever with the person. I say “need” to focus on because sometime things are there around me I do not need to focus on but still are so noisy or interesting that I cannot stop myself from focusing on it. I think the reason why eye contact is so important to NT is because it show so much body language to the person.

Energy

As for energy I feel that many NT does not notice how much energy a person like me uses to be active all time. In my life these days I have decide to follow the spoon theory which I have wrote about here but shortly told it is away to tell how much energy every thing in your life takes and to easier to explain a NT how we feel. I hope to have energy for more things in my life and I have decide to work on myself so things will be better for myself and for the people, like work and scouts, depending on me.

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Jesper's Posts

D = Different

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we start I would like to say sorry for missing last week but too much was going on so lost focus on this but really want to have a habit of writing a post here every week.

Anyway back to why you are here. This week’s letter is D which I have decided should stand for different. Before you start telling me that yes of course Asperger’s and Neurotypical’s are different from each other then that of course is part of my post today but the thing I want to say with big words today is people with Asperger’s can be different as well so just because you have a family member with Asperger’s doesn’t mean that you know everything about it as we are unique people just like Neurotypical’s and sometimes it brothers me that just because I have Asperger’s some people except me to do certain things. Fx I don’t know how to count cards, I know how to walk the streets so I don’t mind red lights like in the movie Rain man. But instead I can be sick from stress which I guess is because I was bullied a lot in my childhood. That brings me to the other kind of different, kids don’t tease or bully other kids because of their Asperger’s or other things like that as they don’t know it, but they do it because the person is different so maybe we should spend time with our kids to learn them that people are different even though we look the same just like we have to treat people from other cultures and countries differently in good ways. So lets us treat all people with the same respect and kindness we want ourself.

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Jesper's Posts

C = Clever or clumsy

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week post has 2 words as I feel they are both important for Asperger’s even I am not sure if it is just me or all Asperger’s. The first is clever and the second is clumsy but let us just get started.

Clever

I have picked clever as I feel that there is a lot of people who says people with Asperger’s is clever but needs help with other things and I am not disagreeing about this. The problem is that people like me who seem normal is not discovered as fast as people like that. I am not clever or rather I don’t feel like one but I don’t need as much help as other people but I sure have problems as well. So I guess I am a more normal person on that point. To give an example of clever people I like to think about Rain man who can count the cards but need help with all kinds of things. You would lose money if you tried that with me.

Clumsy

I have picked clumsy as the second word as it is a bit of the opposite of being clever since it means you can do things which will feel stupid or similar. I can’t count how many times I have twisted my food just because of walking on the streets. I have hurt myself so many times that there was a period where I was at the doctor once a week. The only good things about this clumsiness is that I have never broken anything and I got my first gf by falling down a small cliff with head first so I had to go hospital to get checked. I am not sure why I am so clumsy but it fits well that I get driving sick as well so life is not always easy to me.

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Jesper's Posts

B = Bullies

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we starts then I wanted to say sorry for missing yesterday but I was sick so lost mood and focus but I am back again and will return to publish every wednesday. I just felt the posts was too important to miss.

So back to the alphabet, this week’s letter is B and even that we are not far in the alphabet I feel that is one is one of the important ones for me at least. For the letter B, I have picked bullies which to me is two fold because to me it has two sides. A “Me” side and a “Others” side. I do not know how else to divide it so I can explain it but I cannot write or explain more without ruining the post so let us start with the “Others” side.

Others

The “Others” is the people who have been bullying me during my childhood and leaved me with bad scars in my soul, the only “good” thing about it all is that I did not knew what had happened to me before years after. Yes I was bullied and yes I was bullied a lot, I was also hurt a lot which was often just blame on me becuase I was at “the wrong place, at the wrong time” for anyone to notice that I was not a victim. I have made mostly peace with this part of my life but I wonder what made my class mates do that in the first place like one was a scout, another an army freak meant in a good way and so many others but everyone was evil to me. Good thing a guy tried to break my neck so I could escape for good even I did not understand why at the time.

Me

The reason I made a “Me” side is because I never and will not say I was a good child because I feel I have been a bully as well since if everyone you know have been doing bad things like bullying then how can you know things are not suposed to be like that. I did not know any better and I am not saying it is 100% an Asperger’s thing but we are different from you already and the way we learn things are different as well so not to use it as a bad excuse, but “Sorry that I did not know better” if I could have know it was bad I would have never started doing it back and I would never had held it back from my parents.

Conclusion

In my childhood before escaping the hell of bullies I would say that I was both the victim and the torture as I did know betters. Now-a-days I can bully for fun and see the difference but I guess sometimes the reason I get sick from work or what else I am doing is because I had “enough” of the world, not that I do not love my work or anything else for the matter but I guess it “Beep” up my head, making me sick. Recently started thinking of my go to phsycristist again to get it help to sort the things out and maybe get better that way. I will also use this to say sorry to anyone who felt I was a bully at any time during my life.

“Sorry”

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Jesper's Posts

A = Alone time

Posted on by JTCHlife

I have decided to do each letter individually and not in one post like the alphabet I did the first time.

Today I will like to talk about “alone time” which is a time / place where people like me goes if things gets too much. But it can also be a good time since we can focus on our special interests that way. I like being social but it can really drain my energy if there are too many unknowns at the social event. If I go to work then I am fine because I have an idea about what will happen since work place is where I work. But if I go shopping maybe a person gets annoyed on something I did which is why I love hearing music while I know I am not required to be social so I can use my energy the right places. I love having a time for myself at times so I can relax and connect my thoughts. Guess that is what and why I need alone time at times.

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Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s alphabet part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I just have a short post today as I don’t know what to write about today and then I remembered I did an alphabet some time back. I have decided to remake that as I feel many of the answers I did was not Asperger’s but more about me as person, not that it was bad to talk about myself but that is not why we are here. I will think good about the letters and answers for next week and give you a better one there.

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Jesper's Posts

Me & meeting people

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today’s post is about me and meeting new people and I will divide into 8 different types of meeting as that is what I have ideas for. I hope it makes sense and that you guys enjoy it.

Total strangers (Alone)

Let us start with people I need to talk to that I meet on my own. It is not that hard for me if I am going shopping and I am at a shop needing help to buy a new controller or such because there is an outcome that I am almost certain of. Fx if I go into a hair salon I know I will get an haircut. If there is no certain outcome, then I won’t just talk to you if you are cute and we are on a bar (I never goto bars or drink alcohol), first of all I would not know where to start and if it was because I wanted to be interested in you I would maybe not say anything as I have a very bad age justment so I do not know if you are a teen or in your 30’s. Of cause I can see you are young or old but age is just a number to me. But if a person starts talking to me about a subject I do not mind talking back.

Total strangers (Family / freinds)

Other type is if I am introduced to a new freind or family member with the help of a freind or family member then things gets more easy as I have someone I know on the one side and I can talk to the person about the stranger if the infomation I need is not something I got from the stanger. Besides there is often an outcome of this so I am not left confused by it like I would be if I am alone.

Total strangers (Work)

Work is very similar to when I meet new people with freinds and family since my workplace always takes good care of me and is used to meet people in that outcome which also means I quickly introduce myself and because I feel it is important for them to know I have Asperger’s I tell them quickly that as well plus suggust them watching Adam so they know a bit more about me in case they do not know Asperger’s.

Group of people (Alone)

Groups of people is harder for me to meet alone than single person because I am often having a hard time focusing on them all in one go, but often I pick out those who seems kind and get to know them first but if too many and I am not supose to connect with them I can get sick if the group of people make the building we are in seem very crowded. I have tried walking into a mall here, while it was black friday and I got so sick that if I was going work I would not have been able to. So groups of people is a bit bad when I am alone no matter if I have to talk to them or not.

Group of people (Family / freinds)

Just fine as the outcome is known, I will still perfer one and one but I can get to talk to people a bit but would feel a bit lost at times as well even not as bad if it is work place or similar

Group of people (Work)

Just fine as the outcome is known, I will still perfer one and one but I can get to talk to people a bit but would feel a bit lost at times as well.

Online freinds

(Not meant in a bad way, just to describe people as I see friends as freinds no matter where they are from)

Meeting online friends in ‘real’ life has not happened to me yet but I am sure they are fine as I know the person I meeting and we have things to talk to from the start so I have an outcome and a good time with them just like I would in an hair salon as back at “Total strangers” part. (I cannot wait to meet Ria later this year 2024)

Surprise meeting

Lets say that I was dating someone and they were worried about how I would react if meeting their parents or family members. I am talking about this because in the movie Adam there is an episode where he finds out that the girl he is with has arranged a meeting with her parents without he knows and gets mad. Let me make this clear, I would not become mad if that happen, I would not mind meeting her family that way but I would have some problems if my girl introduce at a big party or something as if the place is too crowded I would certainly get sick and I do not want to show my bad side. I guess my limit would be 4-5 people at a time.

Conclusion

Meeting new people can be hard for me if too many people and not a known outcome which is also why I hate meetings since I do not know the outcome of them.

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Jesper's Posts

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I just want to wish you all a merry Christmas and happy new year because I forgot to do it before it happened hahaha but anyway I am glad to be back here and ready to start again. I don’t know how many of you do it but every year I try to make a New Year’s resolution or sometimes more. Some fails for me and some continue… last year I did too many I guess but one still continues. I still try to learn Japanese even that the app I am using is a bit bad at the moment so switched to English for a while as my English is not perfect either.

My New Year’s resolutions

No nails or skin biting
Drink more more water
3x spoons citrus
2x eat fruit
Eat breakfast
Max 1 hour Reddit
2-3 times boulders a week

I hope some of those new ones stick.

I also hope I can get started at publishing some more post here for you guys

Thanks for following me and have nice time to next time

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