Category: Jesper’s Posts

Jesper's Posts

D = Different

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we start I would like to say sorry for missing last week but too much was going on so lost focus on this but really want to have a habit of writing a post here every week.

Anyway back to why you are here. This week’s letter is D which I have decided should stand for different. Before you start telling me that yes of course Asperger’s and Neurotypical’s are different from each other then that of course is part of my post today but the thing I want to say with big words today is people with Asperger’s can be different as well so just because you have a family member with Asperger’s doesn’t mean that you know everything about it as we are unique people just like Neurotypical’s and sometimes it brothers me that just because I have Asperger’s some people except me to do certain things. Fx I don’t know how to count cards, I know how to walk the streets so I don’t mind red lights like in the movie Rain man. But instead I can be sick from stress which I guess is because I was bullied a lot in my childhood. That brings me to the other kind of different, kids don’t tease or bully other kids because of their Asperger’s or other things like that as they don’t know it, but they do it because the person is different so maybe we should spend time with our kids to learn them that people are different even though we look the same just like we have to treat people from other cultures and countries differently in good ways. So lets us treat all people with the same respect and kindness we want ourself.

0
Jesper's Posts

C = Clever or clumsy

Posted on by JTCHlife

This week post has 2 words as I feel they are both important for Asperger’s even I am not sure if it is just me or all Asperger’s. The first is clever and the second is clumsy but let us just get started.

Clever

I have picked clever as I feel that there is a lot of people who says people with Asperger’s is clever but needs help with other things and I am not disagreeing about this. The problem is that people like me who seem normal is not discovered as fast as people like that. I am not clever or rather I don’t feel like one but I don’t need as much help as other people but I sure have problems as well. So I guess I am a more normal person on that point. To give an example of clever people I like to think about Rain man who can count the cards but need help with all kinds of things. You would lose money if you tried that with me.

Clumsy

I have picked clumsy as the second word as it is a bit of the opposite of being clever since it means you can do things which will feel stupid or similar. I can’t count how many times I have twisted my food just because of walking on the streets. I have hurt myself so many times that there was a period where I was at the doctor once a week. The only good things about this clumsiness is that I have never broken anything and I got my first gf by falling down a small cliff with head first so I had to go hospital to get checked. I am not sure why I am so clumsy but it fits well that I get driving sick as well so life is not always easy to me.

0
Jesper's Posts

B = Bullies

Posted on by JTCHlife

Before we starts then I wanted to say sorry for missing yesterday but I was sick so lost mood and focus but I am back again and will return to publish every wednesday. I just felt the posts was too important to miss.

So back to the alphabet, this week’s letter is B and even that we are not far in the alphabet I feel that is one is one of the important ones for me at least. For the letter B, I have picked bullies which to me is two fold because to me it has two sides. A “Me” side and a “Others” side. I do not know how else to divide it so I can explain it but I cannot write or explain more without ruining the post so let us start with the “Others” side.

Others

The “Others” is the people who have been bullying me during my childhood and leaved me with bad scars in my soul, the only “good” thing about it all is that I did not knew what had happened to me before years after. Yes I was bullied and yes I was bullied a lot, I was also hurt a lot which was often just blame on me becuase I was at “the wrong place, at the wrong time” for anyone to notice that I was not a victim. I have made mostly peace with this part of my life but I wonder what made my class mates do that in the first place like one was a scout, another an army freak meant in a good way and so many others but everyone was evil to me. Good thing a guy tried to break my neck so I could escape for good even I did not understand why at the time.

Me

The reason I made a “Me” side is because I never and will not say I was a good child because I feel I have been a bully as well since if everyone you know have been doing bad things like bullying then how can you know things are not suposed to be like that. I did not know any better and I am not saying it is 100% an Asperger’s thing but we are different from you already and the way we learn things are different as well so not to use it as a bad excuse, but “Sorry that I did not know better” if I could have know it was bad I would have never started doing it back and I would never had held it back from my parents.

Conclusion

In my childhood before escaping the hell of bullies I would say that I was both the victim and the torture as I did know betters. Now-a-days I can bully for fun and see the difference but I guess sometimes the reason I get sick from work or what else I am doing is because I had “enough” of the world, not that I do not love my work or anything else for the matter but I guess it “Beep” up my head, making me sick. Recently started thinking of my go to phsycristist again to get it help to sort the things out and maybe get better that way. I will also use this to say sorry to anyone who felt I was a bully at any time during my life.

“Sorry”

0
Jesper's Posts

A = Alone time

Posted on by JTCHlife

I have decided to do each letter individually and not in one post like the alphabet I did the first time.

Today I will like to talk about “alone time” which is a time / place where people like me goes if things gets too much. But it can also be a good time since we can focus on our special interests that way. I like being social but it can really drain my energy if there are too many unknowns at the social event. If I go to work then I am fine because I have an idea about what will happen since work place is where I work. But if I go shopping maybe a person gets annoyed on something I did which is why I love hearing music while I know I am not required to be social so I can use my energy the right places. I love having a time for myself at times so I can relax and connect my thoughts. Guess that is what and why I need alone time at times.

0
Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s alphabet part 2

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I just have a short post today as I don’t know what to write about today and then I remembered I did an alphabet some time back. I have decided to remake that as I feel many of the answers I did was not Asperger’s but more about me as person, not that it was bad to talk about myself but that is not why we are here. I will think good about the letters and answers for next week and give you a better one there.

0
Jesper's Posts

Me & meeting people

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today’s post is about me and meeting new people and I will divide into 8 different types of meeting as that is what I have ideas for. I hope it makes sense and that you guys enjoy it.

Total strangers (Alone)

Let us start with people I need to talk to that I meet on my own. It is not that hard for me if I am going shopping and I am at a shop needing help to buy a new controller or such because there is an outcome that I am almost certain of. Fx if I go into a hair salon I know I will get an haircut. If there is no certain outcome, then I won’t just talk to you if you are cute and we are on a bar (I never goto bars or drink alcohol), first of all I would not know where to start and if it was because I wanted to be interested in you I would maybe not say anything as I have a very bad age justment so I do not know if you are a teen or in your 30’s. Of cause I can see you are young or old but age is just a number to me. But if a person starts talking to me about a subject I do not mind talking back.

Total strangers (Family / freinds)

Other type is if I am introduced to a new freind or family member with the help of a freind or family member then things gets more easy as I have someone I know on the one side and I can talk to the person about the stranger if the infomation I need is not something I got from the stanger. Besides there is often an outcome of this so I am not left confused by it like I would be if I am alone.

Total strangers (Work)

Work is very similar to when I meet new people with freinds and family since my workplace always takes good care of me and is used to meet people in that outcome which also means I quickly introduce myself and because I feel it is important for them to know I have Asperger’s I tell them quickly that as well plus suggust them watching Adam so they know a bit more about me in case they do not know Asperger’s.

Group of people (Alone)

Groups of people is harder for me to meet alone than single person because I am often having a hard time focusing on them all in one go, but often I pick out those who seems kind and get to know them first but if too many and I am not supose to connect with them I can get sick if the group of people make the building we are in seem very crowded. I have tried walking into a mall here, while it was black friday and I got so sick that if I was going work I would not have been able to. So groups of people is a bit bad when I am alone no matter if I have to talk to them or not.

Group of people (Family / freinds)

Just fine as the outcome is known, I will still perfer one and one but I can get to talk to people a bit but would feel a bit lost at times as well even not as bad if it is work place or similar

Group of people (Work)

Just fine as the outcome is known, I will still perfer one and one but I can get to talk to people a bit but would feel a bit lost at times as well.

Online freinds

(Not meant in a bad way, just to describe people as I see friends as freinds no matter where they are from)

Meeting online friends in ‘real’ life has not happened to me yet but I am sure they are fine as I know the person I meeting and we have things to talk to from the start so I have an outcome and a good time with them just like I would in an hair salon as back at “Total strangers” part. (I cannot wait to meet Ria later this year 2024)

Surprise meeting

Lets say that I was dating someone and they were worried about how I would react if meeting their parents or family members. I am talking about this because in the movie Adam there is an episode where he finds out that the girl he is with has arranged a meeting with her parents without he knows and gets mad. Let me make this clear, I would not become mad if that happen, I would not mind meeting her family that way but I would have some problems if my girl introduce at a big party or something as if the place is too crowded I would certainly get sick and I do not want to show my bad side. I guess my limit would be 4-5 people at a time.

Conclusion

Meeting new people can be hard for me if too many people and not a known outcome which is also why I hate meetings since I do not know the outcome of them.

0
Jesper's Posts

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I just want to wish you all a merry Christmas and happy new year because I forgot to do it before it happened hahaha but anyway I am glad to be back here and ready to start again. I don’t know how many of you do it but every year I try to make a New Year’s resolution or sometimes more. Some fails for me and some continue… last year I did too many I guess but one still continues. I still try to learn Japanese even that the app I am using is a bit bad at the moment so switched to English for a while as my English is not perfect either.

My New Year’s resolutions

No nails or skin biting
Drink more more water
3x spoons citrus
2x eat fruit
Eat breakfast
Max 1 hour Reddit
2-3 times boulders a week

I hope some of those new ones stick.

I also hope I can get started at publishing some more post here for you guys

Thanks for following me and have nice time to next time

0
Jesper's Posts

Asperger’s alphabet

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna do an Asperger’s alphabet where I will write down the first thing that comes into mind about Asperger’s or me and then give a short explation about it. Then I will use it to make posts over the next weeks.

A = Asperger’s would be the most normal thing to write here but I find that a bit cheating so will write Atypical instead which is a awesome series about Sam, who has asperger’s and really enjoy penguins. We follow him in the changes of his life.
B = Bali, my next holiday… Cannot wait to go Ria.
C = Cans of soda… I drink too much soda so now I will cut it down and hopefully stop completely or at least only drink at events.
D = Do/did = things I need to do or that did, sometimes / often makes me overthing before and afterwards.
E = Everyone matters.
F = Favorite subjects, I almost always have a subject that I love to talk about and at the moment it is either Asperger’s or my novel Beyond love existence that I am really trying to write
G = Goals… I do not have a big goal at the moment and life is good so what more can I ask.
H = Humor, I have lots of it but not sure my humor is normal and sometimes I need to think a bit before I get a normal joke.
I = Ironi, I do not always get it and my brother jokes that he needs to hold up a sign to tell me that he was joking or similar.
J = Japan, just a wonderful place and very Asperger’s freindly in mind except for the filling of trains.
K = Kissing, I do not mind it but guess I perfer hugs.
L = Love, I wanna feel love like everybody else and just not always the best at show my feelings.
M = Movies, I love movies and would not live without those.
N = Neurotypical = ‘Normal’ people hahahaha, how does feel being labelled and that people sometimes just stop talking to you when they learn you are different from them.
O = Open minded, I am see people for people and not their religions, race or hobbies or what else as long it is legal and not hurting me.
P = Pictures, I hate getting taken pictures as I always feel out of place or similar.
Q = Quizzes, I like quizzes even I am not always the best at knowing the answers for them.
R = Ria, my best freind.
S = Stop blaming Asperger’s and autism for the reason you do not want vaccines.
T = Teamwork, I am not the best at teamwork all the time because I feel I loses control over things but things are getting better.
U = Unknown, unknown things can both be a good and a bad thing to be as I am not affair of trying new things but I am not always able to handle an unknown meeting or something like that.
V = Vaccines are good so stop blaming us for lies, sorry I said this twice but it really botters and hurt me.
W = War.. I hate it for both the killing and such plus the way people are treating other people.
X = X-ray, I was tested a lot during my childhood and I did not get an x-ray but got MRI instead.
Y = You only live once. I guess I should try to remember this so I can do more things in life.
Z = Zone somes I can focus on something so much I am in a zone and then things like food or you talking to me does not matter at all to me.

0
Jesper's Posts

Being blunt

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanna write about being blunt as often if you have Asperger’s you are often more blunt than an NT person because you do not have filters that explain you what is good or bad during an event or something. An example from my life was when my grandma had died and was in the hospital room for the dead, my aunt (child of my grandma) asked if we should sing a song and without think I replied “Are we here to rest the death or here to awake the death?” because in my family we are not very good at singing. My aunt knows me so nothing bad happen but it could have been bad if I did it to another death person’s family.

Why?

The first question I wanna ask is why I do it and to be honest it is because I do not think much about what I say sometimes and yes you are correct “You should just think before you speak” I can do that but if sometimes if I am listening to people talk I am not sure when it is my turn to talk so sometimes I am too slow or telling the person what I though of the things we talked about if more than one person. Being blunt also means I am very honest about things.

How?

The second question is how I do it and I do it because I feel there is no reason to sugarcoat it like NT’s do so the speech “If you want to know the truth ask a drunk or a baby” also means me even I am 34 years old and not drunk very often (last time was 14 years ago, but last alcohol was in July having an Aperol Spritz in Nice)

What?

The last question I want to ask is what can you do and guess if you want to help me then maybe we should all speak more clear about things and if you talk to me and other people on the same time, make room for me to speak.

Conclusion

Being blunt in my mind is better than the sugarcoating NT does because it leaves to so many miss understandings

0
Jesper's Posts

Tiimo – a great app

Posted on by JTCHlife

Today I wanted to write about being blunt but my mind was not in mood for that or ready, I am not sure so I decide I wanted to write about Tiimo instead which is a great app that really helps me these day even it might seem like a simple calendar. But to be honest I feel like my mind does not want to write a post at all so if it feels forced then it is but I really wanna get back to posting at least once a week again. Anyway let get started.

Tiimo App icon

Tiimo

Tiimo is a calendar app which is made in Copenhagen, Denmark (My home country) and it really sound like a cool company to work for but that is not the point today, sorry. Tiimo requires you to sign up by e-mail and looks like you need to pay for it but it is worth every penny to me. You also get some questions about how you are as person.

Calendar

When you open the app you can sync your calendar to the app but I have decide to use Tiimo 100% so everything is inside my Tiimo and I sync to my iPad as well. I wish it had a way to watch it online while I was at work or somewhere else I needed it without my phone.

Other than that there is a menu in the bottom with following options: “Right now”, “My Day”, “Explore” and “Me”. The pictures you see below is from my calendar as I am not affair to show it

Right now

Right now

As you can see then my “Right now” says I am doing WordPress at the moment and yeah as I am writing this post I was doing WordPress. I do not remember the standard settings but I have told mine to tell me when an event starts like WordPress and tell me when there is 5mins left of the event. I am ok, with keeping the time I just find it more easy to know when to do what. As you also can see I have added to task and once I have completed the tasks I can complete it them and complete the event

My Day

My day

My day as you can see is divide into blocks and I was lazy to get out of bed to day so I changed my day program so my morning stuff started at 11.30am instead of normal 6.00am. Normally I am also cleaning my apartment today but since I was lazy I will do it Saturday instead. I need to do the dishes no matter what so they have been done.

Explore

Explore

I am not using this Explore much but is a way to get ideas of what to do in life for those in need of help with that. I have always used calendar since I got a phone for that so I know pretty much what I wanna do so I am just creating them myself.

Me

Me

This is where the settings and help is. They also have a suggestion service and the only thing I feel missing is making events last longer than 1 day. I am a scout and sometimes I am going on scout camp for a weekend or such and then it could be nice to add it for more days at once.

Conclusion

If you need help with managing your time and is having a hard time focusing on your plans or have a hard time returning from focus I will highly recommend this app.

0