Today I just want to say that now you can find Us on Reddit. It might look a bit weird as it is also home for my website for my novel Beyond love existence but I feel they both can coexist on the subreddit.
Author: JTCHlife
A free-time novelist trying to make his first novel named Beyond love existence while also making a bit of poetry at times
Food + Aspergers
Today I want to make a smaller post as I really don’t know what to write about but feel that maybe food could be a good thing. You see, people with Asperger’s and other diagnoses are often picky eaters like 46-89% according to this. They can be picky eaters for many reasons:
Sensory Problems
We can have sensory problems that make us want to have the food in a certain way like it to be hard, have a certain colour and so on.
Bad at eating their food
I didn’t know what to call this but some kids is bad at eating there food so maybe it hits inside the mouth differently which causes it to feel bad and if it feels bad enough we don’t want to eat that again.
Food cravings
Some kids also just get in love with certain foods and then only wants to eat that.
How to fix it
I don’t know how to fix it, but my parents have always been giving us the food I wanted if we were at a restaurant or somewhere else so I didn’t get a child menu or something special meal. If I wanted a fish, I got a fish. So my guess is that the mix that people are afraid of giving kids what they want and that people are eating so much junk food or have time to make some good food for the kids makes many kids picky eaters including people with Asperger’s and diagnoses. We just get hit harder because parents don’t have time to ‘fight’ us.
My meals
Like I said, then my parents always gave me what I wanted and the only problematic food I have is ginger, coffee and for some odd reason mashed potatoes. Otherwise I love trying new foods especially in a foreign country.
Not knowing the right words
Today I want to talk about not knowing the right words as I feel or rather I know I did it again. In case the title doesn’t make sense then what I mean is sometimes I say things that might be in the best intention but it comes out wrong or at the wrong time.
Example 1
I am talking to a good friend X about how I feel about a date that I feel like my friend Y has put me on when I suddenly notice the time and wants put my attention on making sleep as I know it is a big day tomorrow. I can see now that it comes out bad as X just told the opinion about so it seems like I was blocking C while I was only trying to focus on X’s wellbeing because of the big day tomorrow instead of my stupid mind because of some small thing as a date when X’s is more important to me.
Example 2
I am talking to another good friend Y who has problems with partner Z and instead of saying something kind, I say something bad about Z and even Y is annoyed at Z then suddenly Y is mad at me for speaking my mind instead of being saying the right words.
Questions
I feel so stupid after doing it again recently so please help me answer these questions
- How to use the right words to show the person you cared?
- How to use the right words in a clear and meaningful way?
- Why does my mind sometimes explode and say bad things instead of caring things?
- Why do I hurt people when I try to show them I care?
Sex & Asperger’s NSFWish
Well today’s subject is maybe crossing the line for some people and not all people are the same so this is as always just my experiences with the subject. I will start by answering some questions that Ria gave me, before going to about me and ending with sexuality.
Do people with Aspergers interested in sex?
Well I think most people with Asperger’s has interest in sex, but it requires a great deal of things for them to make it happen… Here is a small list of reasons for me.
- I am not social enough to just date like neurotypicals
- I want a connection and not just do it because everybody else is doing it
- I feel like that during my teen years I spend more time learning about myself than learn the sexual stuff so I am “Slow”
- I am nerdy and not strong and buff
- I have no clue about what you want unless you tell me
Do people with Aspergers have less desire than neurotypical?
I do not think that the sex desire is less than with neurotypical but guess we just have a hard time showing and get to it
About me
Well I have not experienced it yet so nothing interesting to say about me but I would like to try it someday.
Sexuality
This is just how I feel when reading on forums like Reddit and such so sorry if it offends people or is wrong but I feel that most people with Asperger’s don’t just love girls but is a bit more into trying different things like being gay, trans and so on. Which maybe is making it even harder for us to do things in the name of sex. I am a normal person who just like a woman but have a few kinks that I wanna try if possible.
Crowds
Today I wanna talk about crowds as I would say it is one of my weaknesses as it really can make me feel uncomfortable very quickly. First I will talk about what happens to me when I am in crowds as there are 2 types for me.. 2nd I want to tell how I can beat it to a certain extent.
Type 1 indoor
This type is probably the worst thing you can do to me, place me in a room full of people that is all talking and the room is too tiny for us to be there. I have tried it a few times over the years and every time I start feeling nausea like if I have taking a rollercoaster one time to many afterwards I gets a bit of headache and then I start not being able to handle myself or focus on what I am supposed to do in the room and if too long I have lost all my energy. The longest I have stayed was during a meal. I recently tried it when I was at Le Mans when we was going to eat lunch inside a tent but there was too many people. I also tried to see if I could handle myself inside a mall on Black Friday but got sick in less than 15mins even I knew my goals before entering.
Type 2 outdoor
This type on the other hand in no big deal for me so as long there is air for me to breath I am alright. Of course I still prefer less people compared to many but I can handle it.
How to beat it?
It is very easy for me to beat it these days as now I know why I am getting sick so I can just go outside most of the times, but if I cannot do that I can pick up my noise cancelling headphones and play some music in my ears so I can focus on what I should do instead of becoming messed up. Of course that prevents people for interacting with me but it is either that or I am leaving.
Bad situation feeling and being left out
Before I start today post I will like to say sorry that I have not been posting for almost a month but the days just took each other but will try to make people happy once more and I hope to return to posting again. Anyway today I will covering 2 things, “Bad situation feeling” and “being left out”, an Asperger’s often feel or rather do so in my mind.
Bad situation feeling
Bad situation feelings is maybe not a term that seems normal for an NT but to me, Asperger’s, it means a lot because it means that I am bad at knowing what to do in a situation.
Example 1
If I am walking down the street and I see a man who is almost dropping a package he is walking with, I would maybe not react even it would seem normal to do so. I would rather mind my own business and walk past him like nothing happen. I ‘know’ this is wrong but still if you do not tell me you need my help I would not think about it. But if you want my help, then just tell me and I will do almost everything you ask me to as long it is legal and so on.
Example 2
A woman is standing up in a train but she is clearly pregnant. We do not have to go over that I ‘know’ it is wrong but unless I am told by the woman to give up my seat I would not do it.
WHY?
Well I do not always see the full picture when doing things and if people do not open their mouth I do not see the problem so I will just think you have decided to do it your way. I am getting better at it and please understand I do not mind helping people at all. And for the record about the pregnant woman, I have been told not to ask if a woman is pregnant so I am never going to do that so OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you want me to do something.
Being left out
This one I am not experiencing often anymore as people that know me are kind to me and we are having good time so I only have a maybe half example because I understand what is going on even it hurts a bit.
Example 1
I am seating in a full train on the way to work. The train is so full that people are sometimes standing in the walk path making it impossible to get in or out of the train. I feel left out or hurt if people do not seat next to me. It makes me feel like I am some bad person that no one wants to seat next to.
WHY?
I do not know why people do that but I know you do it to other people as well so not only me which is why I said it was a half example. Maybe someone can explain it to me in the comments. I am mostly fine by it these days but still a bit weird to be the only one without a seating partner.
Spoon theory
Today I wanna talk about spoon theory, don’t remember where I learned about it but thanks to the creator it is really helpful for me and I felt I needed to share it with the world
In case anyone want a short post about spoon theory then it is a way to explain how much energy you have each day and how much each event costs to you.
12 spoons
The first thing to know about spoon theory is that on a normal / good day I have 12 spoons to complete the day and they all depends on how good my sleep was… if it was bad I can lose some meaning I might have only 10 spoons that day. I can sometimes borrow some from the day after but I rarely do it as that means I have less for the day after and don’t want that.
List of events and spoon costs
- Work = 6 spoons
- Scouts = 1 spoon
- Boulders = 1 spoon
- Friends / Family = 1 spoon
- Cleaning day = 5 spoons
- Brain routine = 1 spoon
As you can see, depending on how much I do that, it cost more… nothing is ever free but something cost so little it doesn’t count. An important thing to remember about the number of spoons things costs. It is only when things goes smoothly if things goes bad, I suddenly use much more spoons.
A normal day
On a normal day I do everything to make things only cost me 10 spoons as I never know when things goes wrong and suddenly cost more. An example could be that my train was cancelled so I had to travel in a more full train so normally it doesn’t bother me to take train but because of the changes it suddenly cost me 1 spoon.
- Wake up & morning routine = 1/2 spoon
- Transport to/from work = 0 spoons
- Work with a single meeting = 6 spoons
- Transport to/from scouts = 0 spoons
- Scouts = 2 spoons
- Evening routine = 1/2 spoons
- Brain routine = 1 spoon
That is how my Monday looks if anything is good meaning I have 2 spare spoons.
Help
If you have a friend or family member with Asperger’s or autism it might be helpful for the person to use this to make you understand how their energy is used. I am doing good at normal things but other people might need to use a spoon for something as simple as taking shoes on so respect that people might need more energy than you.
Thanks for listening and I really hope some of you can use it
Being overwhelmed
Today I want to talk about being overwhelmed and how it effects me. I don’t know how this works 100% so don’t know if there are different types so this is how I experience it. I will start by telling so stories about it and then try to to explain what happens to me and how I think I can prevent it.
Story 1
The first time I was really overwhelmed with thoughts was back when I was going to have my first new boss. The work place I am working had been under the same boss for almost the whole time it had existed and even that we felt we was a separate company my boss still had someone to report to. Because of the way my position was I was directly under the boss who was getting replaced because he didn’t want to be a boss anymore. The overwhelming started as my coworkers and the boss wanted one of my coworkers as the new boss but the people that my old boss reported to didn’t and that made the entire office really bad mood and everybody was very negative and angry about it. Which left me scared about how things would change and so on. Things got worse and worse almost daily and I lost the good mood I had and the like. We got a new boss who was a man from the outside and the only thing take prevented me from going nuts on his first day was that he had forgotten his lunch so he had to join me and a few others to the cafeteria and he showed he was a normal person like the rest of us.
Story 2
The second story I want to tell is not done yet as we are still moving to a new office building but this time I am more happy and better at seeing what I want to see than being hit by group pressure. So I am sure this will happen become good again like last time but I did have some flashbacks from the boss episode. It didn’t help that people was used to big office with small numbers while the new office is smaller rooms and bigger groups people. I got a bit lost again but one week I didn’t go to work Wednesday where my coworkers had a meeting and it was a crazy change from bad to good over the day off.
What happens
When I get overwhelmed I become:
- Focused on negative things
- Lose my head
- Gets annoyed
- Loses my good mood
I guess most are self explanatory so ask if you need help to understand them
How to prevent it
I am not sure how to prevent it other than try to look at the positives things and talk to people about the things that they are annoyed about so miss understanding doesn’t happen
Asperger’s in movies & series Part 2
I did this a few months ago about movies with Asperger’s and now I have seen or head some new movies and series about people with Asperger’s so wanted to make a sequel.
I used to be famous
The movie is about a man (Vince) who used to be part of a boy band in his younger years and since then he has lost everything so he trying to get a new chance in music. One day he meets Stevie who is autistic and they cannot talk to each other at first and Stevie mom is very protective. Vince sees Stevie as his chance to enter the music again but on the same time he still trying to get over the death of his brother. Go watch it as it is on Netflix if you want to see a Vince maybe get his redemption and music contract. I like it because it shows that mother’s can be too protective of their kids.
Mary and Max
I have not seen this movie so cannot say what it is about but was told about it and read a bit about and after I read that it is about a 44 year old and a 8 year old who writes letters to each other. I feel so connect to the movie as I am using a app called slowly which is a letter app where you send mails to each other but you do not know the person in the other, other than they share plus the father the person is away from you the longer it take to reach the person and hopefully a letter back. The other reason I am felling connect is because I feel I have a better connection with kids and older people than those at my age.
Somebody
The series Somebody is a Korean series about a woman (Kim Sum) who has created a dating app when suddenly a man uses it to start killing people. The police wants the company to track him but they, they cannot and Kim Sum starts getting feelings for the guy because he is similar to her. It is a bit rough at times but I feel it does a great job at showing that even that Asperger’s might be made from gens it is also how your environment is. I would not go as far as saying I would do some of the things in the series but I have been bullied and teased a lot doing my child hood and because no one
Conclusion
Guess I just wanted to show that again there is plenty of movies and series with features people with all kinds disabilities and everything else so there is plenty to watch if you want to learn about people like me or others who might need a bit more help than you expected.
P.s the covers are all from IMDB
10 things I hate as an Aspie
Today Ria gave me the idea to publish 10 things I hate as an Aspie and I have decide not to make them order as I do not feel they have an order except for the first one
- I hate or rather feel hurt that some people would rather have an chance that their kids died than having Asperger’s/ autism because they have the idea that vaccines gives it when it certainly does not
- I hate that some people sees us as a difficult group people just because a few of us is need more help than what a normal person does
- I hate that some people sees us as one type of people and do not understand that we are just as different as you and your sister or brother.
- I hate that some people believes we fake it just to get attention and extra stuff like money and let me answer you right away the last thing I want is attention, I hate to be in the spotlight so if I could be normal or at least avoid people attention because of my different ways of acting I would love it.
- I hate I was bullied as a child and that no one tried to help me or at least explained to me it was bad so I did not do it myself
- I hate that people expect me to be around people all the time to be happy, I do not mind to be at home or go for a holiday on my own.
- I hate discussions because I might see things a bit black and white even I know the world is not
- I hate phone calls as they are unexpected and I fear that I am disturbing the person in the other end as I cannot see what they are doing
- I hate that people expect me to remember their names or known their age as my memory do not remember names it does not use often and as for age, I cannot see it other than you are a child, young or old so please stop make me guess
- I hate that people gets annoyed on me for being blunt or not sounding happy or sad enough at the right time.
You but different 