This post inspired by movie ” I Used To Be Famous ” on Netflix. One of my favorite movies about autism. The review is still in my draft. Maybe i will post that soon. Yes … yes … i admit it is too late to post the review because the movie released maybe almost 3 years ago.  But better late than never. Hehehe.

In that movie, a mother described as a very protective mother to her son that has autism. Thats what i feel about Jesper too. Sometimes impression that i got from him about his mom is a protective mother.

I have a daughter too. Teenager. I also have a super protective mother too. I am a neurotypical but i don’t know why she was very protective to me since i was born till about grade 7. So everywhere i went, she always sent her employee to go with me. Now also if her kids go somewhere that new, she will nonstop worried.

I guess i understand why the mother figure in that movie and Jesper’ mother for example, are very protective to their kids with autism. Actually their purpose is to protect their kids so people won’t hurt them. Usually related to bully.

But i can feel also that very protective treatment from mothers can brings uncomfortable feeling for the kids (the people with ASD or asperger) because it is usually still happening even until they are adult. Sometimes their mothers also try to get involved in their “things” for example about their love life. The mothers usually try to be more strict or controlling or wanna know about their kids’ relationships. Usually that will trigger friction between moms and kids.

I guess there are some ways that can be solutions to have a better condition :

1. Try to be open and honest to your mom about your feeling and what do you want. For example you want to be trusted or you want your mom to stop worrying about you or you wanna have relationship with someone but free from her control. You tell her and also listen about what she feels. Discussion with opened mind and patience.
2. Try to gain trust from your mother. So after you talk to her about what do you want and for example you get chance to do things your way without her being involved, make sure you keep the agreement you make with her and being responsible. With that way you can gain her trust. After you gain her trust, dont ever dare to break it. Moms are so hard to trust again when trust is broken. Especially to their beloved kids. Prove that you can be trusted.
3. Don’t stop communication. So keep your mom informed and updated about yourself and about trust she gives to you. So she doesnt wonder about things and she can be relax. Not easily to get worried and dont try to get involved again.

If those things above go well, i think the friction because of super protective behaviors from the mothers can be prevented. Your moms love you. It is just they need to prepare you for the real world. Not just keeping you in her protection all the time.

And for mothers, we need to listen about our kids especially the ones with autism. They can be strong and independent if we let them to be. We cant always beside them to protect them forever. Expose them to the world so they will have strength and chance to be participate in this world with all kind of people. So they can be independent.

Good luck.